(Closed) Is it ok for my husband to text female coworker?

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Post # 136
1511 posts
Bumble bee

Jesus effing Christ, people. I’m pretty sure OP gets the freaking moisturiser message now. Can you all stop trying to score points against each other and let the thread get back on track now?

Post # 137
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Is anyone else pondering throwing their moisturizer at their wall after reading the last pages of this thread…. just me? 🙂

Post # 138
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
elodie2019 :  I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how hard I would have to throw a pot of moisturizer to get it to break.  Those little pots are pretty heavy duty and I can’t imagine they break easily. 

That’s where my mind went….

Post # 139
162 posts
Blushing bee

Been following this thread, it is getting out of hand and totally off topic. OP needs support, not lawyers arguing over  something as irrelevant as moisturizer. I find it offensive to people who have actually been abused, to push that OP throwing that object out of justified anger and totally alone,  is abuse. I take it those people saying that have never been. In any way. They would know better than to shame a woman coming here for support and clearly a victim in her own way. OP we are here for you!

Post # 140
10100 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
soexcited123 :  

Flip the script, Bee.  Would you *honestly* be telling us to just ignore the behavior if it was the husband doing and saying the exact same things?  You need not reply to me.  Just please be true to yourself.

It just astonishes me when Bees continue to rant about what *they* consider abusive.  As if their opinions on the matter mean jack shit. For the nth time, abuse has been well defined by people who know what they’re talking about. That’s why I keep posting links to credible sources, like the National DV Hotline’s article about how abuse is defined.  My thinking is that they might have a slight edge over the Bees on this one.  Clearly, no one who keeps railing about how throwing moisturizer is *not* abuse looked at the article.  I’m pretty sure few Bees who post read anything I share.  But, you do what you can to educate.

And what is this business about the husband not being in the room when OP was throwing moisturizer?  Where are you guys seeing that?  I can’t find it. Please post the quote.

Let’s do away with the completely asinine and childish argument that OP should be excused from being called abusive because her husband misbehaves, too.  That’s sandbox logic.  The husband’s gaslighting, which absolutely is emotional abuse and crazy-making, does not provide OP with an abuse license. That’s like a criminal trying to defend himself by arguing that the victim stole the perp’s car before, too. It’s a deflection tactic.

In some cases, the victim, typically women, who have been severely abused for some length of time will start to engage in behaviors that are completely out of character.  That is actually symptomatic of severe abuse.  From the information that we have so far, it does not sound as if this is what’s happening here.

No question that OP is in a terrible situation.  She is handling it very poorly.  The best advice that we can give her is to own her abusive behaviors and get to a qualified therapist STAT.  That’s really the kindest, most supportive thing we can do.


Post # 141
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

View original reply
elodie2019 :  I am..but I don’t want my husband to cry abuse from the other room.

Post # 142
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

This thread should definitively be closed. Some people are too self righteous and will just keep beating a dead horse. 

Post # 143
104 posts
Blushing bee

I said that 2 pages ago! How do we get a mod on here?

The topic ‘Is it ok for my husband to text female coworker?’ is closed to new replies.

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