(Closed) Is it ok if I leave?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Hmmm I would maybe talk to her about it since she is in your wedding and your are having her Fiance. Otherwise if you only go to the ceremony make sure she knows that in advance and is not expecting you at the reception.

Post # 4
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well, as long as she knows that you arent attending the reception so she doesn’t pay for a meal for you… I think it’s fine.

I also wanted to agree that I think it’s super rude not to invite someone’s spouse. Boyfriend is one thing, but not husband.

Post # 6
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

If this were my friend I would say something. Just because you met eachother single does not mean she gets a pass on inviting your husband.

Post # 7
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow just WOW! I would definitely not attend the reception.

Post # 8
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would agree with PP that as long as she isn’t expecting you for dinner, that would  be fine!

Post # 9
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would also decline to attend the reception.  That’s in very poor taste, whether she likes your FH or not!  

Post # 11
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@FutureMrsChaney: I have to agree, especially just one month after being hosted at your wedding. Is she inviting a lot of married people without their spouses? If so, she should expect most to decline. And if not, it shouldn’t be a big deal to include your husband.

I think your approach is just fine; I would write her a note on the RSVP letting her know that you will attend the ceremony but not the reception. (Personally, I’m not sure I would even attend the ceremony myself; I would simply decline. And if asked why, I would say that I prefer not to leave my new husband at home while I attend a wedding by myself.)

Post # 13
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@FutureMrsChaney: i think as long as you let her know in advance, that would be fine.

If this is something she is applying across the board and you two are close, maybe ask her why (sounds like she’s got an interesting way to keep the budget small?)and let her know it’s unusual and some people may get offended. I’m sure you are taking it a lot easier than a lot would. also mention that since there will be so many people who don’t know anyone and don’t have their sig other, it may put a bigger burden on her to entertain.

Post # 14
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

She is being incredibly rude not inviting people’s spouses.. You don’t break up a social unit.  If I was invited to a wedding without Fiance I would decline the invite.

Post # 15
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Just let her know that you don’t feel comfortable attending the reception without your SO and ask if its ok if you two just come to the ceremony. 

Post # 16
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@FutureMrsChaney: Thanks for clarifying 🙂 If you are close enough to ask her to be your Bridesmaid or Best Man I think you should be close enough to have a serious discussion with her about the “logic” behind her decision. If she is really inviting NO spouses she’s going to offend a lot of people and if she’s just picking and choosing which spouses not to invite then she’s taking advantage of your friendship.

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