(Closed) Is it ok if your SO gets a lap dance or strip show for free from a woman?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is it ok with you if your SO gets a strip show or lap dance from a woman other than a stripper?

    Yes, I trust my SO.

    Yes, but only if I know the woman doing the stripping/lap dance.

    Yes, but only if I'm there with him.

    No, he can only get a lap dance or strip show from a stripper.

    No, my SO can't interact with any woman in that way aside from me.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @bunnyharriet:  How drunk do you need to be for that???? I’d think they were high for sure lol

    Post # 18
    Member
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Nope, not okay by me! 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee

    No. Strippers are selling a service at a club. Various regulations go with that. Some random chick? Absolutely not, because she has no “rules”.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Personally I don’treally care if he goes for a reason like a bachelor party, if he was going just to go, I’d be upet about that. I do draw the line with a lap dance, especially a private one. I’m ok because first of all I don’t really think he enjoys it, he one of those guys who’s like how is it a good time for me to watch women naked that Im not going to sleep with anyways? He felt that way when we were just friends too, like why pay someone to get naked and strip if I’m not getting anything anyways lol. Secondly, looking for me is like whatever, I’ve been to a strip club and seen naked women too. It wasn’t as exciting as it is in the movies. Touching and having naked crotch an inch from his face is different than someone being up on a pole on stage to me.

    Post # 21
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Everything FREE is good right? NOT really. I would really have an issue with that, not just because I consider that anyone who engages in such things is objectifying women. If my SO is happy with me why would he need that kind of thing? for me it’s a big fat NO.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @bunnyharriet:  I would have been livid at those friends. And most likely would never talk to them again. Those are minors and all of them participated in the deliquency of those minors, and possibly worse charges like child pornography.

    That is absolutely a line that should never be crossed.

    Post # 23
    Member
    733 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Mine hasn’t been before, so if he wanted to go for his bachelor party I would probably be thinkin about it while hes gone but I wouldn’t say no. He would be fine 🙂

    Post # 24
    Member
    4998 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m fine with strip clubs. My Fiance has been to them, but not since we met. He will go for his bachelor party and I’m fine with it, lap dances are fine, but nothing ever outside of a strip club. Pretty sure I would call that cheating! If it’s in a strip club, it’s all anonymous fun and games with rules and lots of people around. I consider that a very specific scenario.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Ya we don’t really know people like that, or go to parties with people who do stuff like that, so it’s not kind non-applicable.

    For the record, I could give a crap less about a strip club.

    Post # 26
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    From a stripper during a bachelor party…I don’t care. Have fun. From a woman for free or going to a strip club every weekend seems highly inappropiate. And yes, there is a huge difference.

    Post # 27
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee

    @bunnyharriet:  I am totally NOT ok with my SO getting a lap dance from a stripper or anybody else. I am not even ok with him going to a strip club. Looking at a naked woman gyrate on a pole is a form of sexual titillation and I certainly don’t want him thinking ofanother woman while he’s banging me. I think these acts are demeaning to the women in their lives and if having a relationship with a man means facing this amount of humiliation then sorry, I don’t need a guy that bad. I’d rather be single than be with a man who derives his pleasure from seeing/feeling other naked chicks. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    9830 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    It’s not okay by me at all, the only person he should ever get lap dances from is me. So no strippers, and definitely no friends/strangers doing it for free!

    Post # 30
    Member
    676 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If he went to a strip club for his bachelor party and got a lap dance fine, it isn’t really going to bother me. However if some random girl just wanted to give him a lap dance, for free at that, then there is something more going on and that way beyond crosses the line of cheating for me. Somehow I doubt a “friend” is going to be offering him a free lap dance if she doesn’t have some sort of emotional connection.

    Post # 31
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @bunnyharriet:  Unless these strippers have vaginas that have the power to put people under some sort of trance like state, I’m not quite sure how some woman – whether I know her or not, swinging her nipple tassles challenges my relationship with my partner.  She goes home with me.  She sleeps in my bed.  She’s marrying me.  We have a relationship together.  The stripper or whoever it is, has taken her clothes off…  She’s got a long way to go if she wants to come inbetween us (I’m pretty sure she does it for money and NOT to ruin relationships..) and we both know it.  I honestly dont see the problem.  Let her swing her nipple tassles, just make sure I’m there too so I can have popcorn. 

    I’d probably question my friend if she suddenly get her kit off and starts lap dancing my partner.  But then, my friends wouldnt do that as none of us work as lap dancers.  

    I quite enjoy a lap dance myself.  We are both planning trips to lap dancing bars as our hen parties.  Hers will probably be more burlesque and mine will probably go a bit further.  We’ll live.

     As long as it doesnt change our relationship, our commitment to eachother, then I have no problem.  I trust my partner not to let it just like I trust her with everything.

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