(Closed) Is it ok if your SO gets a lap dance or strip show for free from a woman?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is it ok with you if your SO gets a strip show or lap dance from a woman other than a stripper?

    Yes, I trust my SO.

    Yes, but only if I know the woman doing the stripping/lap dance.

    Yes, but only if I'm there with him.

    No, he can only get a lap dance or strip show from a stripper.

    No, my SO can't interact with any woman in that way aside from me.

  • Post # 32
    438 posts
    Helper bee

    I would say No to that, but I wouldn’t mind SO going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from a proffessional, however when I told him this he went bright red and said he would be too embarrassed to even go into a strip club haha! Bless him <3

    Post # 33
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m totally fine with strip clubs. The strip clubs I’ve been to are so heavily regulated that I could probably get away with touching the strippers, but the guys get bounced for getting touchy feely. I’m not entirely sure where Fiance or I would ever be where a random chick would come up to him and want to give him a lap dance for free, but I’d probably laugh if someone did because he’s so awkward around women.  

    I completely trust him no matter where he is – he’s an adult and has self control, and let’s be honest, most men who cheat are going to do it in an office/work setting with someone they meet who is fully clothed.  

    Post # 34
    7547 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Strippers are ok, they have no interest in getting with a guy and are just performing a service. 

    A normal woman rubbing up on a guy is trying to hook up with him. That’s not ok. 

    The problem is not SO touching another woman, but the intent and what happens afterward. 

    Post # 35
    5427 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Just two letters for me… NO.

    Post # 36
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wouldn’t care about a lap dance at a strip club from a stripper that someone bought him for his bachelor party.  I just wouldn’t really care.  I’ve had plenty of lap dances myself. This is not the same as me saying I would be okay with him going to a strip club every month/weekend to get lap dances, because I wouldn’t be. 

    No I wouldn’t be ok with some friend giving him a lap dance or strip show.  A stripper has no interest in these clients, it’s what they do for work.  A friend would only be doing that because they intend or want something to happen.

    These are two completely different things.

    And those parties OP is mentioning with lap dances and nakedness…whoa!  But I could see something like this with parties full of 17-20 year olds.  I remember my friends playing some strip type drinking games at parties when I was 18 or 19.  But since both Fiance and I are 28, we just don’t really party with people this age.  All of my friends are old enough now to know to keep their clothes on.

    Post # 37
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    For a bachelor party, I’d be okay with him going to a strip club and getting a lap-dance. Hopefully, he wouldn’t buy one for himself (I’d be more angry at the fact that he spent money on something stupid, lol). I’ve always been in the “you can look, but you can’t touch” camp. I’d be a little more upset if it was anyone other than a stripper performing a lap-dance. I feel like that crosses some sort of line with me.

    When the bachelor/bachelorette party topic comes up, I’m pretty quick to remind him that the same rules apply to both of us. Now, do I plan on getting lap-dances from guys? Absolutely not! But it’s nice to remind him that he really doesn’t like the idea of me touching other guys, just like I don’t like the idea of him touching other girls.

    Post # 38
    2446 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It depends. A lap dance from a stripper is totally okay obviously because she’s doing a job. She could give a lap dance to a tree if the tree tipped her well, ya know? It’s not emotional or anything. If it was a friend and she got drunk and we’re all having fun and she decides to do, I wouldn’t really care, although the Fiance would probably think it was dumb and stop her. If it was a total stranger…I wouldn’t be thrilled.

    Post # 39
    833 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Any woman stripping or giving a lap dance to a “taken” man is wrong! It is cheating. If I walked into a bar, sat on a guy’s lap and told him for $100 bucks I’d remove my shirt and bra and dance for him, I’m sure that would be cheating…because it is! Strippers are still human beings. Just because they choose that for their job, doesn’t change that.

    Post # 40
    1546 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @bunnyharriet:  I voted that DH can get a lap dance from a stripper, (which would be at a place of business). Just like if someone offered me a free massage on the street I would say no and book an appt for a massage at a place of business. Just like if I was at a party and a guy offered me a massage I would say no. For me it’s all about surroundings, circumstances that determine whether or not something is appropriate. A dance from a stripper is her job, some girl that wants to rub up on my DH for free is a horny woman.

    Post # 41
    10713 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    No. Sure I trust him but I am his wife… I should be all he needs. 

    Post # 42
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    DH and I have an agreement….he won’t let some other woman do stuff to him that he wouldn’t want me to do to another guy….just that simple.  But then again, we’re older and have had relationships where stuff like that was OK in our book….now we realize we didn’t care about the people we were with at the time.  




    Post # 43
    5653 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I don’t really see why a women would ever want to give some stranger a lap dance for free, but I’ll bite lol.

    I wouldn’t be okay with my husband getting a lap dance from a sranger, and that includes strippers. I do not see the difference between a quote-on-quote “stripper” giving a lap dance and someone else giving a lap dance, free or not. I think it’s weird that it’s not socially acceptable to let a stranger rub all over you if you’re married, yet it’s somehow social acceptable to pay for a true “certified” (lol) stripper to rub all over you if you’re married.

    What’s the difference? They’re both strangers grinding on your husband. I wouldn’t be more or less offended if a “real” stripper did it for free, and likewise I wouldn’t be more or less offended if a stranger did it for free.

    Post # 44
    1085 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My Fiance and I talked about strip clubs and lap dances when we first met and again when the topic of his bachelor party came up. I told him I don’t feel comfortable with it. Then when it came to the bachelor party I told him I was fine if he wanted to go to a strip club but not comfortable with him getting a lap dance. Something about the cheap girls nude rubbing on him rubs me the wrong way.


    None the less he said he didn’t even want to go to a strip club for his bachelor party (it helps that around here all the strip clubs are trashy) and that he will likely just go downtown drinking. He also said he wouldn’t feel comfortable if I went to a male strip club so I’m definately willing to compromise.


    If someone that wasn’t a stripper gave him a lap dance I’d be pretty ticked. Because A. Why in the heck would she if she knew we were getting married. B. If she didn’t know he was getting married why not? C. If she’s not getting paid for it why would she do it? And D. That’s just simply crossing the line.

    Post # 45
    11735 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We’re a no strippers allowed couple! Neither of us are interested which makes it easier. 

    Post # 46
    4108 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Haha, no. I’m not ok with another girl rubbing her tits and ass all over my husband’s dick, stripper or stranger (same thing anyway), in a club or in private. Touching with nudity is cheating to me, no matter how you switch up the details.. Also, I’ve seen ‘the rules’ broken in strip clubs before- and nobody seemed to care that they were in public and/or that the room was filled with people.

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