(Closed) Is it ok to ask for money as a wedding gift?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Should I ask for money only or wedding gifts that I don't need?

    Take the wedding gifts, it's more polite

    Take the money! Everyone can use money!

  • Post # 3
    Member
    5667 posts
    Bee Keeper

    No, it’s not okay. If you would prefer monetary gifts the only “polite” way to go about  it would be to not register for anything.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5843 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    There is no polite way to ask for money. Don’t register and let people come to their own conclusions.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10283 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Any way you look at it, it’s tacky to ask for money. To be honest, if I received an invitation that said “monetary gifts only” I would either not attend the wedding or be sure to gift a toaster or something of the sort (I’m bitchy like that). No-one needs to be told what to gift. Your guests will gift what they’re comfortable with. I think every couple hopes for monetary gifts but it’s impolite to come right out and ask for it.

    FWIW, I was married last week and all we got was cash and checks. We received one actual wedding gift in the mail after but everyone who attended our wedding gifted us with money. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    47430 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It’s not polite to ask for any gifts- not just money.

    If you don’t need “things”, then don’t register. If anyone asks, just tell them that you have all the “things” you need.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It is extremely impolite to ask for money.  Don’t do it.  And if you are struggling with debt you probably shouldn’t be having a wedding (unless your parents or someone else are paying for it).

    Post # 8
    Member
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I don’t object to wanting money instead of gifts but asking for it (particularly with a godawful poem) can be rude. Better to not have a registry and if people ask then say that you’re asking only for their presence but if they do want to give you something you’re saving up for (xyz thing) and a contribution would be lovely.

    Asking for money just for money’s sake is probably a bad idea.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3342 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    There’s no polite way to ask for money.  As other bees suggested you can not register and hope your guests figure it out, or set up one registry with not very many things on it.  There will be people who will want to give you a gift no matter what – they just don’t feel right giving money.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2747 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Are you from an Asian culture? It is custom for Asian families to GIVE money for weddings, but it is NEVER OK to ask for it.  Do yourself a favor, do not expect any money.  Create a SMALL registry and leave it at that.  You are getting married, it is not a fundraiser.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1192 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    For our wedding we are asking for people to donate to our Honeymoon fund who come and for those who cant vome to Vegas they want to purchase something for us so we started a registry for them. Seems to be working out so far and no one has complained.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would find it rude.  I’ve been invited to weddings that said “envelopes only”–which we all know meant $ only…I was annoyed, even though we were going to give cash anyway.

    I think the best way is not to register.

    I had a very awkward situation where my boss, who was invited to my wedding, asked me if me and my Fiance would prefer cash or gift…I was put on the spot and I said “We just want you to come, we don’t expet anything”..then she said “Oh come on, just tell me, I don’t want to get you something you don’t like.  You guys want cash right ?!?”…I then told her I felt uncomfortable and that her and her husband should decided…to which sheh said “Ok cash it is”…super uncomfy..but secretly I was happy lol

    Post # 15
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I still think you have to create a small registry.  Many people like to give gifts regardless of what you’d like, and if you don’t give them any direction you will end up with a lot of crap you can’t return.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2853 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    You also can let your mother/BMs know and they can let guests who ask know that you and your Fiance are saving for ______. I think that falls within proper etiquette.

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