Post # 1
Everyone knows how how the economy is and a lot of people are out there struggling. My Fiance and I are one of those people. A couple of people of people had suggested asking for money instead of typical wedding gifts. I don’t need appliances or house things because I have everything we need for our own place. What we need more than anything is money! It would be so nice to pay off some debt or even purchase a car! But my mom thinks its tacky to ask for money. If I were to ask for money only how do I ask? Do I say “Monitary gifts only”? Or put a little note in the invitation explaining the situation? Or should I just except the typical wedding gifts?
Post # 3
No, it’s not okay. If you would prefer monetary gifts the only “polite” way to go about it would be to not register for anything.
Post # 4
There is no polite way to ask for money. Don’t register and let people come to their own conclusions.
Post # 5
Any way you look at it, it’s tacky to ask for money. To be honest, if I received an invitation that said “monetary gifts only” I would either not attend the wedding or be sure to gift a toaster or something of the sort (I’m bitchy like that). No-one needs to be told what to gift. Your guests will gift what they’re comfortable with. I think every couple hopes for monetary gifts but it’s impolite to come right out and ask for it.
FWIW, I was married last week and all we got was cash and checks. We received one actual wedding gift in the mail after but everyone who attended our wedding gifted us with money.
Post # 6
It’s not polite to ask for any gifts- not just money.
If you don’t need “things”, then don’t register. If anyone asks, just tell them that you have all the “things” you need.
Post # 7
It is extremely impolite to ask for money. Don’t do it. And if you are struggling with debt you probably shouldn’t be having a wedding (unless your parents or someone else are paying for it).
Post # 8
I don’t object to wanting money instead of gifts but asking for it (particularly with a godawful poem) can be rude. Better to not have a registry and if people ask then say that you’re asking only for their presence but if they do want to give you something you’re saving up for (xyz thing) and a contribution would be lovely.
Asking for money just for money’s sake is probably a bad idea.
Post # 9
There’s no polite way to ask for money. As other bees suggested you can not register and hope your guests figure it out, or set up one registry with not very many things on it. There will be people who will want to give you a gift no matter what – they just don’t feel right giving money.
Post # 10
Are you from an Asian culture? It is custom for Asian families to GIVE money for weddings, but it is NEVER OK to ask for it. Do yourself a favor, do not expect any money. Create a SMALL registry and leave it at that. You are getting married, it is not a fundraiser.
Post # 11
For our wedding we are asking for people to donate to our Honeymoon fund who come and for those who cant vome to Vegas they want to purchase something for us so we started a registry for them. Seems to be working out so far and no one has complained.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone! I guess I just won’t register and let people give what they want. =)
Post # 13
I would find it rude. I’ve been invited to weddings that said “envelopes only”–which we all know meant $ only…I was annoyed, even though we were going to give cash anyway.
I think the best way is not to register.
I had a very awkward situation where my boss, who was invited to my wedding, asked me if me and my Fiance would prefer cash or gift…I was put on the spot and I said “We just want you to come, we don’t expet anything”..then she said “Oh come on, just tell me, I don’t want to get you something you don’t like. You guys want cash right ?!?”…I then told her I felt uncomfortable and that her and her husband should decided…to which sheh said “Ok cash it is”…super uncomfy..but secretly I was happy lol
Post # 14
Actually I’m not asian. I’m african american. but I see what your saying. =)
Post # 15
I still think you have to create a small registry. Many people like to give gifts regardless of what you’d like, and if you don’t give them any direction you will end up with a lot of crap you can’t return.
Post # 16
You also can let your mother/BMs know and they can let guests who ask know that you and your Fiance are saving for ______. I think that falls within proper etiquette.