Post # 1
I want to ask my cousin if his son could be my ring bearer. The problem is that I don’t have his phone number OK I know I can call my aunt to ask for it, but if I do then she would know why I’m asking for it, and I don’t want her to be the first to know. Next problem is that I never ever ever ever ever ever talk to him on the phone. Ever ever ever ever. Next issue is, I don’t want to drop a bomb on him. I don’t want him to feel pressured to say yes, because I don’t know if he was planning on bringing his kids to the wedding (the wedding is out of state for him). Also, I know him and his wife are saving money for a house, so I know money is tight too.
Anyways, we do communicate over facebook messanger sometimes. Like when my dad was in the hospital, that is how we communicated about that. Would it be totally tasteless to ask him over facebook?
Post # 3
@Happilyevaafter5: I don’t think it’s an issue, but I’m not a facebook hater either, so I think the opinions you get on this may vary quite a bit. I’d say put up a poll.
Post # 4
Why don’t you ask your cousin for his phone number via facebook? Then, call him to ask.
Post # 5
If that’s the way you guys usually communicate, I don’t see a problem with it.
Post # 6
@housebee, thanks! poll added!
Post # 7
I see no problem with it. I asked my MoH over text message and all my bridesmaids via facebook.
Post # 8
How thoughtful you are, to recognize the pressure you would be putting on your cousin with this simple request. The traditional way to deal with such a request, would be to put it in a hand-written note, to be sent through the post. I have frequently argued on these boards, that just as sending notes by personal footman was replaced by sending them by mail, an just as the hand-cut quill pen with India ink was replaced by the ballpoint pen, email and facebook private massage have replaced pen and paper and become the normative form for the personal note in the twenty-first century. In other words, I think using facebook would be completely proper –but if you want to be proper AND traditional, you could actually mail a paper note:-)
Post # 9
@Happilyevaafter5: I don’t see why not. Or send him a private message on there and he can have some time to think about it.
If you were inviting people to your wedding over FB, it might be a bit weird… but I don’t see an issue over this.
I hate phones so I am biased, but I seriously don’t see a problem with this.
Post # 10
@MrsWBS: I agree with you 🙂 I think it’s more personal to ask that way rather than in writing but I also appreciate not telling anyone else before the cousin. I’d get his number on FB then phone because then you have the number for future reference if you need it for wedding related stuff.
Post # 12
It’s fine if that’s how you want to do it but it’s not very personnal. It would probably be more special if you called but it’s totally up to you.
Post # 13
Personally, I don’t like it, and would probably raise my eyebrows a bit if someone wanted my child to be in their wedding but couldn’t pick up the phone to call me…
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
@abbie017: I agree with you.
Post # 15
@Happilyevaafter5: Is there any way you could get the number through another relative? I have nothing against facebook or messenger but I think it might be more personable to ask over the phone. =)
Post # 16
I’d ask for his number via Facebook and then during the phone call tell him no pressure, think about it and please just get back to you by such-and-such date. That way you have the personal touch of a phone message (I know you don’t usually talk, but you really should make the effort just this once, he might really appreciate the gesture) and you give him time to think about it and not be put on the spot.