Post # 17
thanks for the input everyone. you are all swaying me towards attending…as to whether or not i mention how much i can give, not sure yet. maybe it will depend like you some you mentioned how it is done. like i have to figure out if the money goes in the card or to the host. i guess i assumed i would put it in the card.
the ivitation clearly stated in its own section on the invite (preceded by date/time/location): $50 contribution towards a group gift for BRIDE to enjoy on her honeymoon.
good point. i have no idea if the bride is aware. i was looking at her registry the other day and saw that a few items had already been purchased. i assumed it was for the shower since her wedding is still a couple of months away. in fact i almost went shopping for it today, but didn’t make it to the mall. then i came home to the invite. LOL, i suppose i could still get a gift and claim i bought it before i received the invite.
yes this was my issue too. i don’t have a problem with a honeymoon fund or asking for monetary contributions, but i don’t like that i am being told how much to give! i wish i could give $50, but i really can’t. And DH sees this as a non-issue. he was like “well i can’t afford it”. end of story for him, not something he is strssing about, lol.
Post # 18
I’m watching the Packer game. All I saw was “Shoot the host” while Flynn got a TD … lol … But I agree with the all of what you said, as well as “Shoot the host”.
I can’t believe the audacity of some people!
Post # 19
@fellowbee: Get her a card and a $25 gift card. Go enjoy yourself and support your friend. Friendship does not have a price, she is going to be happy to see you. Lastly, your financial situation is none of her business, its a gift!
Post # 20
If you feel awkward about giving less, you could always purchase an item (off registry) and tell the host that sorry, you already were all set on presents prior to receiving the invitation. Technically not lying by saying that because you were set – on paying less – before receiving the invitation. But honestly you shouldn’t feel bad for contributing less.
Post # 21
Tell her before hand about your money situation. If she is a true friend and not just inviting people for the $, she will be happy to see you even if you can’t give $50.
Post # 22
i am thinking of sending this email to the host – is it good as it?
I received BRIDE’s shower invitation yesterday in the mail – thank you! Unfortunately, I am unable to contribute $50 for the gift, however I am happy to give a lesser (or should i say “different”) amount. Are you collecting the contributions directly or should I put it in the card I have for BRIDE?
Post # 23
i think that she should be shot.. and i think you are handling it VERY gracious. the email was great and nicer then what needed to be..she should NEVER request an amount thats just plain rude. Having a shower is to spend time with the people that support you..not give gifts. If you feel ANY type of way about the lesser amount- give the $25 and make her something homemade she can have forever…forget the host! your friendship means more
Post # 24
Your email is perfect. I think you’ll feel a lot better once you know how it will play out. The hostess probably doesn’t know how rude she is being, so I think your email is totally polite and appropriate.
Post # 25
That is really hard. I hate it when these kinds of things come up. If you really cannot afford it, talk to the host. Tell her you just can’t right now. That is tough, but I think the host is a little bit rude to request that, personally.
Post # 26
I would tell the host that you would love to attend but with other obligations in your life you will only be giving 25! That is still very generous and it is very rude for the host to assume everyone will want to give 50 dollars. I’m almost positive that you aren’t the only one upset by this. Im sure the bride will be happy that you made the effort to attend her bridal shower. If that was my shower I’d be so ticked at my friend who assumed that all the guests would spend 50 on gifts. My shower had it’s own issues that I won’t go into here! I just don’t understand how some people think sometimes!
Post # 27
I would just give what you can. I think it is rude for them to expect everyone can give 50 bucks. I say go and have fun and give what you can I doubt your friend will even care she’ll just be happy to see you. and if she did care then what kind of friend is that?
Post # 28
I don’t think you should justify yourself. It isn’t anyone’s business. If you want to communicate that you don’t want to/can’t contribute to the group gift you could go with something simple
Can’t wait to see you at Mary’s shower. She is so excited. I just wanted to let you know that I have already got my gift taken care of.
See you on Saturday.
Post # 29
I wouldn’t email her, I would call. I wouldn’t say “lesser” I would say the amount you are able to give.
Post # 30
thanks for the input, i like that other sample email better…..but too late i already sent it! i used the word “different” instead of lesser.
The host got back to me and said it was fine and she is happy i can come.
so problem solved.
Post # 31
It is extremely rude for the host to be demanding a specific type of gift and minimum price tag. I would decline the shower invite and then arrange with your friend to go out to lunch sometime to make up for the shower blunder. Your friend will appreciate whatever you can afford, since it’s the thought that counts.