(Closed) is it ok to do rsvp only by email or phone?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

we did this. it cuts out alot of money with stamps. we did an email & phone number. the phone number would then send a message to the email & you could even hear what the person was saying in the message if they called. we used our through google mail.

Post # 4
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did this too. People can RSVP by phone or on our wedding website. Our wording was something like, “please help us save trees. RSVP to http://www._____.com or to [my mom’s name] at [phone number] by the fourth of july”

Post # 5
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m not a fan of these methods. It’s a personal preference, but also a lot of my guests do not have internet and I just don’t trust cell phone voicemails (I get voicemails and missed call alerts sometimes weeks later!). Plus, I just like receiving snail-mail.

Post # 6
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m going this route as well!  RSVPs and menu selections will be done on the website. 

Post # 7
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I did this! Our numbers of RSVPs back were similar to what I’ve heard from mail-ins. The younger crowd loved having the email option, and I was surprised how many of the older generation emailed as well, otherwise they just called.

Post # 8
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We did our RSVPs via our website. We just put “RSVP at http://www.XYZ.com by X date” at the bottom of our invites. Our wedding was pretty casual, though, so I’d probably do this on a separate sheet if you’re going more formal. By traditional etiquette standards, pre-stamped RSVP cards are actually considered rude, so you’re fine skipping them.

Post # 9
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@les105:  I had no idea pre-stamped RSVP cards were considered rude. I’ve yet to read this in the tons of etiquette books I’ve read. Why is it considered rude?

Post # 10
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We did phone/e-mail for our age group of friends who are more likely to be on the computer/phone regularly then we had a formal RSVP card for our older relatives who were most likely not oging to e-mail

Post # 11
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

This is definitely what we will be doing. I don’t know a single person who does NOT have a computer or email, even my 80 something grandparents. But everyone has a phone. 

Post # 12
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

I went this route and it went as well as it could have.  We still had to get a hold of guests after the RSVP date, but that wouldn’t have changed if we had done snail mail. I also made spreadsheets for our parents and myself to check off who has RSVP’d yes and no.  We used the response card and wrote:

 

_____ seats will be reserved in your honour

Kindly respond on or before ThisDate
to
[email protected]
or
Our Phone Number
or
Parent’s Phone Number

 

Post # 13
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@BetterSherm:  They are considered rude because they assume that your guests don’t know enough to know to RSVP on their own stationary/write you a note.  Basically, it assumes that people will not RSVP unless you make it easy for them…which unfortunately is often true.  Smile

We used the phone and email option and it worked really well.  This was a compromise with my Darling Husband, who wanted to go paperless for invites.  We didn’t have to chase anyone down, which was incredible!  My sister used the RSVP card option, and had to make about 10 phone calls.  For some reason, people just don’t want to return the little cards.

@CherryWaves:  That is exactly what we did! 

Post # 14
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

Personally, I do not like the email/call only RSVP method.  I think it’s much classier and proper to include a traditional RSVP card, and as far as postage goes, you (the bride/groom) should affix a stamp on the return card so guests don’t have to pay for postage.

Post # 15
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@upallnight:  FAR FAR classier to go the traditional route. Plus, the older generations won’t be thrilled with online methods. I’ve seen–time and again–elderly invitees not know what to do about the more “modern” versions of RSVPing. 

Post # 16
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We had people RSVP on our wedding website or by phone.  It worked out great!

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