(Closed) Is it ok to feel…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This is sort of like bride wars .. don’t dye her hair blue!

Post # 4
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Of course you’re entitled to these feelings, as long as you don’t show them so clearly that you hurt your best friend. If you have a good relationship with your mum, or someone else outside your circle of friends, I would talk to them about it. You do need to vent, but it’s a good idea to be very selective about the person you tell! As for your boyfriend, I would apologize today and say that I got a little carried away – then move one with life without talking about it further unless he wants to.

And the day he proposes, I’m sure everyone will be just as happy for you too!

 

Post # 5
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s always OK to feel how you feel! I think it is pretty normal for feeling a tad jealous when you are both hoping for the same thing and one gets it first. It’s what you do with it that matters. Vent to your SO or on here, but please don’t let HER know how you feel.

Your time will come. πŸ™‚ Be happy for her.

Post # 6
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t really see much of a reason for you to be upset. My sister got engaged maybe 2 weeks after I did. Just know that your time is coming & I wouldn’t worry about the engagements possibly being close, etc.

Post # 7
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it’s perfectly normal to feel a tad jealous.  My Fiance brother proposed to his now wife about 6 months before my Fiance proposed.  I couldn’t help but feel so jealous and then also feel like a terrible person for being jealous.  Your time will come.  My soon to be sister in law got married in October and Im getting married in March.  I think it kinda worked out in my favor, becaussee she Just got married she still has “wedding brain” and wants to know all the details of mine, which I love talking about πŸ™‚ shes also been helpful with some of the DIY projects.  

My advise is to be there for your friend.  Your time will come and she will be there for you.  Also  my Fiance really heard about it when they got engaged first.  He did an ok job of making me feel better, but not really.  Lol. I don’t regret showing him my feelings about it because i think it showed him just how much I wanted to get engaged, which happened 6 short months later πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@philadelphiachic:  This is a really exciiting time for your friend and her fiance. Please don’t ruin it for them by showing your jealousy.

That said, I do think it’s ok to feel a little ping of jealousy, so long as you don’t show it or let it get to you. Just keep in mind that not all relationships move at the same pace and what’s right for one couple may not be right for another.

You guys will get engaged when it’s right for you and not a second sooner, so there’s really no point in stressing out over it. Focus on helping your friend celebrate (or plan) and work on some hobbies you love to take your mind off it. And take walks outside (if it isn’t too cold); reconnecting with nature is always calming for me.

Post # 9
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

It’s perfectly normal to feel a little jealousy once in a while, especially when someone else gets something you want so badly.  But please don’t think your engagement will be any less special because it’s second.  There’s more than enough happiness to go around.

Post # 11
Member
678 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@philadelphiachic:  It’s OK!! It sounds like your turn is coming soon so just relax and enjoy the ride. Your ring, your engagement, your wedding will be every bit as special- and it will be YOURS! Hang in there.

If I had to “wait” all over again (I “waited” almost 7 years πŸ˜› ) I would try harder to control the emotional venting and the pointy little comments that I sometimes made when we heard news of yet another friend’s engagement.

Your post reminded me of something I heard once, that words are like toothpaste- once they’re out of the tube it’s hard to get them back inside. A good saying to live by in my opinion, especially for waiting bees having a hard waiting day πŸ™‚

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