Post # 1
This has come up on a few recent threads and I thought some of you might be interested to see what Miss Manners says on the subject of no-show guests and whether or not it is appropriate to call and check on them. Apparently, yes, it is!
Post # 3
If you’re genuinely worried about them, yes. I think this is the case for most small, casual parties.
If you want to yell at them because you paid $150 per plate as is the case for most weddings? Eh…give it a few weeks to cool down.
Post # 4
@AlwaysSunny: Agreed. I’d let it go.
Post # 5
I’d be genuinely worried if someone missed a wedding.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t bother. They showed me how important I was to them by skipping my wedding, so they don’t warrant a phone call.
Post # 7
I didn’t even look at the place cards to see who didn’t show up. I have a general idea but I didn’t want to know. Everyone who was important was there or called and gave me a very good reason why they weren’t there. As PPs said, the rest don’t warrant a phone call.
Post # 9
I guess I figure if I invited this person to the wedding it’s someone who matters to me enough to be geninely concerned.
As I mentioned on another thread, I did have a guest who was a no-show. I suspected this person after running into her a few days before the wedding. She seemed nervous to tell me that they were coming back the day of and traveling straight to our ceremony.
When they didn’t show, I did call shortly afterwards. If something really had happened to them I would feel badly to just assume the worst. I said nothing whatsoever about money spent on their plates or that I was upset. Just said I was glad that everyone was OK, although I’m sure she could figure out I wasn’t too pleased.
At THAT point, she warranted no more phone calls.
Post # 10
@weddingmaven: I think it’s very rare that something actually happened, and a lot more likely that people are just inconsiderate. If something did happen, it is their obligation to let me (or one of my many family members) know. I am not chasing people at my wedding, lol.
Post # 11
People get sick or things come up. I understand getting worried about them but being upset makes no sense to me. Calling to check up and or say you missed them is fine.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t follow up with no show guests, if they couldn’t be bothered to even let me know that they won’t be there then I won’t waste my time on following up with them.
Post # 14
@greymonkey42: Yes, of course, people get sick. But things “come up??” Unless it’s an invitation to the White House, that’s not going to fly at all. A normal person would call or send word within a reasonable period of time.
@MrsPanda99: LOL, I certainly didn’t call her at the wedding! It was after we got back from the honeymoon. It was easy to see who was missing from a table of 8 friends during the affair and as I say, I had a little bit of a heads up that something was fishy.
If the no-shows were friends of the parents or someone on the other side of the family then I would not call, though.
Post # 15
What if it happened the day of and they have more important things to do than appologize to someone. Like maybe Grandma fell down the stairs and no one is willing to take care of her or you get a call from your boss saying you’ve got to be at work in 5 or your fired. I realize that to you and close relatives your day is like the best day ever but to every one else it’s a great occasion but not the end of the world.
Edit: You can get upset all you want. I’m merely stating my opinion you don’t have to agree.
Post # 16
@MrsBeck: That sounds like a great plan! Okay I am staying far away from my card table! 🙂