Is it ok to have the Hora in your wedding if you're not Jewish?

posted 6 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I see no reason why it isn’t ok. It’s not a religious thing actually, strictly cultural.  You might want to clue some guests in though as they may not know about simply running up to lift the chairs (or maybe give this out ahead of time as an honor to some stronger guests?). I’m Jewish, and I think if your DJ/band announced you were doing it because you both just admired it for whatever reasons then it wouldn’t bother or weird me out.

Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes I think it’s fine! I’m Jewish but fiancé isn’t and I’m disappointed he doesn’t want to do it. 

Post # 5
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee

I’m Jewish and I would find it weird/inapropriate to see a hora at a wedding where neither the bride or the groom is Jewish. But I guess it depends what song it’s to. I guess if you’re not doing it to Hava Nagila or another Jewish song, then It’s not really a hora (IMO) more of just a chair dance.

Post # 6
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Petite_Fraise:  I don’t know…Hava Nagilah only dates to 1918 and the tune is from a Ukranian folk song.  And it’s not religious–the lyrics have no mention of anything except singing and rejoicing (no mention of G-d).  The hora isn’t a ritual, just a circle/chair dance really anyway. But yeah, I can see some people finding it a bit odd if it appeared at a non-Jewish wedding.

Post # 7
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee

@bearlove:  Ya I totally see what you mean about it being a ritual rather than something “religious”. For me, it would just be strange since it’s such an idenfiable Jewish tradition. But to each their own!

Post # 8
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Petite_Fraise:  This. I’m not Jewish at all, but I would probably be really weirded out if I went to a non-Jewish wedding that had the hora.

Post # 9
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Petite_Fraise  and @vorpalette:  + 1. I don’t think it’s offensive, but I would find it kind of odd to include a cultural or religious tradition that isn’t part of the bride or groom’s culture.

Post # 10
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@mrsspaghetti:  If it’s special to you, I would keep an open enough mind as a guest to participate, and have fun. No one “owns” culture. They either embrace it, or don’t. Since you’re embracing a culture that isn’t yours, I think it’s refreshing and admirable that you are able to consider traditions and / or customs that may not necessarily “belong” to your lineage, but mean something to you. 

Being culturally tolerant and trying to immerse yourself in other aspects of the world around you is the key to understanding others globally. If only more people generally did such a thing, perhaps there would be less conflict in the world, because we’d know and appreciate the other side to the coin, and not view the world with such a narrow scope of what people “should” do.

 

Post # 11
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Let the DJ announce that you love it and want to do it! It’s fun! I’m Eastern European and we do something similar…. no chairs… but still fun!!

Post # 12
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would not be offended but I would think it was very very weird. Just being honest. 

Post # 13
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m not Jewish, but using a tradition that has meaning or symbolism to a culture that you have no connection to because it looks “fun” is kind of disrespectful, IMO. I would also be weirded out if I saw it at a non-Jewish wedding.

Post # 15
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@shaynapunim:  Well, to be fair, its a distinctively Ashkenazi tradition. Does that mean Sephardim can’t do it?  Also, considering it’s a song about people joining together in rejoicing in a moment, it actually seems to have some pretty awesome cross-cultural messages.

Post # 16
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I don’t understand how embracing a culture outside of your own is disrespectful, unless one is maliciously making fun of it, or condescending about it. 

No one has proprietary rights over the myriad of ways humans can behave in a given situation. 

I am not German, but I enjoy Beethoven’s music. I am not a Buddist, but I can appreciate being mindful of my surroundings, and attempting to reach a ‘zen’ experience. I am not Jewish, but I light yahrzeit candles to honor my deceased loved ones. I am not Japanese, but I clip bonzai style trees. Am I offending any of you? Are you uneasy? 

I’m being an individual; accepting many cultures and inviting those that enrich life in meaningful ways into my core values. I’d hate to think that’s offensive.

If your spirit is well intentioned, and you feel the sentiment of the tradition OP, go for it. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors