(Closed) Is it ok to have the Hora in your wedding if you're not Jewish?

posted 8 years ago in Jewish
Post # 17
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@StuporDuck:  I’m super offended that you like classical music Tongue Out

Post # 18
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3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@StuporDuck:  It’s more the idea that the OP said she wants to do it because it’s fun. I don’t have a problem with embracing other culture’s traditions if you understand the sentiment behind them, but I do think it’s hard to do other traditions justice if you’re not connected to the culture.

Post # 21
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1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@mrsspaghetti:  You know, good question. I’ve danced countless horas and never really thought about the origins (I’m Jewish even, and speak Hebrew so I knew what Hava Nagilah literally meant but not much of the history). So I looked it up for you.

Guess what? The dance isn’t even originally Jewish (it’s used widely all over the Balkans). Hava Nagilah and a few other moves in the dance are culturally, but (as I already mentioned) are 0% religious.  It is danced at any time of great rejoicing, the song is about celebrating, singing, and dancing together as brothers (Hebrew, like Spanish, uses the male form of the word in plural when the group is mixed gender, so take ‘brothers’ as in like when we say ‘for all mankind’ but mean women too).

Post # 23
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I find it to be cultural appropriation at it’s finest. I’m Jewish, but that’s not really important in my opinion on this one. It’d be offensive regardless of the culture you’re appropriating. It doesn’t matter if it has religious significance. It is culturally significant to a culture that you are not a part of, specifically a culture that has experienced oppression throughout history. 

You can dance and have fun at your wedding without the hora. You can even dance in a circle if you want. Why not research your own history and culture and try to find a fun tradition that will have cultural significance to you and your future husband?

Post # 24
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it’s offensive that the OP wants to do it because it’s fun.  It’s a joyous dance, and joyous dances can appeal to and be experienced by anyone.  I will admit, though, if I was at a wedding where a gentile couple was doing this, I’d find it a bit odd.

Post # 25
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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LadyMonster:  Lol at culturally appropriate something that was culturally appropriated to begin with.

Post # 26
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee

Lots of people want “Here Comes the Bride” and the Wedding March, and their “stories” are TOTALLY ridiculous, so it is no more or less ridiculous to want a wonderful folk piece at a wedding, whether the ethnic/nationalistic vibe of the piece clashes or not.

Choose what appeals to your ear and your sense of fun, and forget about things that don’t really matter at all.

Post # 27
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

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mrsspaghetti:  

I’m Jewish and I think it’s kind of weird to see the hora at a totally non-Jewish wedding. There was some thread here not too long ago about a bride who had no connection to Judaism either but wanted the glass breaking ritual at the end of the ceremony. Mostly everyone was telling her not to do it and that it would look very strange. It would. I think this situation is not really all that different.

EDIT: Here is the thread in question: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/okay-to-break-a-glass-if-not-jewish/

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  Whiskers0.
Post # 28
Member
9406 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m not Jewish, so I can’t say anything re: offensive or inoffensive.

I can say I’ve been to Jewish weddings without it, and an Indian wedding with it (though I believe the bride might have had some Jewish ancestry?).  I was surprised at the Indian wedding, before I remembered she might be somewhat Jewish, but then I laughed and danced because we were all drunk.

And that was that.  No feelings hurt, no dark murmurs the next day (it was a multi-day wedding, so the entire wedding party had another 36 hours together after that point)… people just had a good time and talked about how late they stayed up dancing and how hungover they were.

Anyway, that’s my story about how, with the right mix of friends, nobody cares. (With that caveat that maybe she might have had some Jewish ancestry.  I donno.  Doubt anyone else knew either, minus her family)

Post # 29
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Im Jewish and would not be offended in any shape or form if someone did it! Especially if it looked likt he bride/groom had fun doing it! The hora was sooo fun! i loved it and i hope you do too!

Post # 30
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Oh just realized this post is super old hah

The topic ‘Is it ok to have the Hora in your wedding if you're not Jewish?’ is closed to new replies.

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