- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Fiance and I met while working in the same department at a very large company and starting dating when he transferred to anther department (so we could date). Our departments work very closely with each other but we no longer work in the same city. Many were surprised when we announced we were engaged, but everyone was very, very excited for us. The love and support we felt was overwhelming and heartwarming! We tried to play with the numbers, but we simply cannot afford to invite people from work. It turned into “if we invite X we have to invite Y. If we invite Y we have to invite Z…”. It would have at least doubled our guest list and we still would have been excluding people. As a result, no one from work is invited. We’ve been hinting at this since the beginning that it’s a relatively small wedding. We’re inviting ~80 people: mostly family and some close non-work friends. Even if the budget weren’t a concern, we’re getting married on a yacht so space is somewhat limited (it can accomodate 150 max). I get the impression that some are assuming they will be invited and have noticed others, upon realized they are not, seem hurt.
After a lot of consideration, Fiance and I think hosting our own celebratory happy hour could help alleviate this problem of false expectations and hurt feelings. The goal of the happy hour (we will not call it a shower) will be to: (a) politely inform everyone they are not invited, (b) let everyone know that we love and appreciate them and wish we could include them, and (c) celebrate! We are making absolutely no mention of gifts and certainly don’t expect any. I’m somewhat opposed to saying “no gifts” on any invitation because gifts are never a requirement of accepting a social invitation. I am open to reconsideration if you guys think otherwise.
What do you guys think of this? Is it ok? Do you think people with think it’s just a gift grab? Should we say no gifts? Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!
Here is the draft language for the Outlook invite (no paper invitations – this is casual). We’d send it out in the next week or so. The event would likely be in mid-September in the city we met (where I still work). We’re getting married September 22. Any feedback on the draft wording is greatly appreciated as well.
“As most of you know, we are getting married next month. We are very excited for our intimate wedding on a small yacht, but we also wanted an opportunity to celebrate with all of you, particularly since we met while working alongside all of you! You all mean a great deal to us – let us buy you a drink as we celebrate our upcoming nuptials! – [our names]”
Again, thanks for your feedback!