Post # 1
There are a couple of girlfriends that I would love to come celebrate at my bachelorette party in the States in a couple of weeks. The wedding is not until July 2010, and will be overseas in another country. Because we want to do the wedding small, I hadn’t planned on inviting these couple of friends to the wedding. Is that rude to invite them to the bachelorette but not to the wedding? Do you think they will think they are automatically invited to the wedding?
Post # 3
Would it be possible to hold a separate celebration, like a special lunch or dinner, where you spend time specifically with these friends and others who aren’t going to be invited to the wedding? It’s one thing to hold a specific gathering meant to allow friends to celebrate your marriage when attending the wedding would be impossible for most, but asking folks to participate in an event directly tied to the wedding to which they haven’t been invited is trickier, I think.
Post # 4
Given your situation, I would think that some of the girls would love to celebrate with you in whatever way they can. With that being said, traditionally, it would not be appropriate to invite people to your shower or bachelorette party that are not invited to the wedding.
Being that you are opting for a destination wedding, why not talk to the person who is throwing the party for you and turn it into a Bon Voyage type party? Like have the invitations say, “Since we all can’t celebrate with Miss Turkish Bride in (I assume) Turkey this July, come join us for a night on the town to wish her well!” If you are close enough with these women, I’m sure you’ve already mentioned that you are having a small wedding or that you can’t invite everyone you know. It’s a fine line to invite them to a bachelorette, but not to the wedding.
I know men do it all the time. A bachelor party is an excuse for any guy to come party. My brothers and FI’s friends will bring co-workers, cousins, classmates, ANYONE, in order to defer the cost of the booze and entertainment. Why do we have to hold to better ettiquitte? Because we are women?