TO @aspasia475: thank you for your kind words… (Reply # 47) and yes that is exactly what I meant. And once again you and I are on the same page.
@FutureMrsLAL: and @hermom: … YES sometimes I post opinion, and sometimes I post direct quotes… depends on the situation I am posting about (posting Quotes gets tiresome, both for the reader and myself)
BUT… Because you asked… here are but a couple of examples…
From The Post Institute of Etiquette, and the “Emily Post Book of Etiquette”…
Socializing with business associates can provide an opportunity to talk in a relaxed atmosphere, a chance to cement relationships, and a way to get to know clients, employers and employees better. Being relaxed, however, does not mean that business relationships become intimate or personal or that you can “let your hair down” just because you are outside the office setting. Just as your appearance, behaviour and manners are used in the office as a criteria for your promotability, they are used outside the office, too. Having too much to drink, being loud, or rude, and even dressing inappropriately can be strikes against you in the eyes of your employers. And if you are the boss, it should be unnecessary to say that your professional image must be intact no matter what the social situation.
Speaks to the element of Friends vs Colleagues… and “appearances” in a social setting vs a working environment.
PERSONAL SOCIAL EVENTS
There are times when business and social life overlap and it is difficult to know whether to invite business associates. One such occasion is the wedding of a son or daughter. Many business executives use the occasion of a large wedding to entertain clients, prospective clients, and business associates. If you choose to do this (and I would do this only with the approval of your son or daughter even if you are paying for the entire wedding), be careful not to slight anyone by failure to extend an invitation. Naturally, you would invite business associates who are also friends without having to invite the entire department or your complete client list. The same guidelines apply to planning your own weddng.
Speaks to the difference again between Friends & Colleagues. And the element of offending someone by not inviting them (such as a Work Colleague because you didn’t wish to send an Invitation to their Spouce), which is the issue at hand here in this topic.
A WORD OF WARNING
Since home entertaining merges your business and social lives, you must exert caution in undertaking it. If, as an upper management executive, you socialize regularly with your staff, you may weaken your position of authority, making it difficult to reprimand or fire someone or to pass over someone for a raise or a promotion. If, as an employee, you socialize with your boss, you may create resentment among the rest of the staff and be accused of deliberately currying favour. Home entertainment on a regular basis should be confined to peers or to clients who have become friends. The occasional home party may include anyone in the office.
Speaks to the difficulties associated with crossing the line between one’s personal life and work life. If one is in a position of authority (or aspires to be)… then blurring the lines can be more problematic.
There are many other such Quotes from trusted sources… such as this one from Miss Manners
Should you invite your colleagues to a wedding? I’m firmly against it unless they happen to be friends. It’s a personal event. It’s a burden on people who really don’t care about you personally. I may like you perfectly well as a co-worker, but I have never thought enough about you to have any interest in whether you’re happily in love or not.
As aspasia475: has posted above as well… there are RISKS involved with socializing with colleagues … in that they transport what they see of your personal life back to the office environment… never to divide those thoughts again… so you the Bride getting all weepy walking down the aisle (contrary to the stoic “thou shall not cry at the office” rule of etiquette for the business world) … OR one of your Bridesmaids having had too much to drink and having a melt down at the end of the night, calling you a Bridezilla in front of others, OR your College friends (and you) enjoying the drinks & partying and breaking out the “suggestive” moves on the dance floor (and don’t even get me started on the Garter Toss with your Hubby’s whole head up under your dress… never mind the “comments made in gest” about you two doing the naked tango later that night)
YES Weddings are fun times… and great social events. But they are also a “great reveal” of one’s personal life… not only yourself but your family & friends. So putting ALL THAT on display can be awkward for outsiders… I mean honestly we read oodles of posts here in WBee where Brides fret about how their two soon to be blended families are so drastically different (My Fiance’s Family are Tea-Totallers… and my family isn’t… infact my cousins are total partiers… however am I gonna deal ?)
In reality… a Bride cannot control what goes on around her, and what other people do on her Wedding Day. So there is no artful way to “make ammends” or erase such thoughts in a Colleague’s mind once the damage is done.
Hope this helps clarify WHY I personally advise against mixing work with pleasure… IF one isn’t indeed very close friends with the person from work… and as stated if you were indeed close friends, then you’d know the name of your co-workers spouce, and most likely would have had an occasion previously to all socialize together to begin with.