(Closed) Is it ok to say "no"?

posted 4 years ago in Christian
Post # 46
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

If being a good Christian wife means to never say no in regards to intimacy, does that mean that in marriage, there are elements of  condoning deception or with holding the truth from your partner?

I think my partner would extremely be hurt if I kept certain details or truths from him, including not telling him I was feeling x,y,z during moments of initiated intimacy. 

Post # 47
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I’m an atheist and I almost never turn down my fiancé. It’s not because he’s forcing me, it’s just because I like making him happy, and I enjoy the physical bond that we have, so even if I’m not totally in the mood, I still get enjoyment from it. With that said he would never even suggest the idea if he could tell I wasn’t feeling well, and if for any reason I did say no, he would absolutely respect that. Good relationships are ones where you both try to make the other happy, if you were miserably giving in to sex, and your partner knew, that would be selfish of him. Focus on each other but know when to focus on yourself too. 

Post # 48
Hostess
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

robinvalentine: I am a christian (practicing…not just ‘occasional’) and heck yes it is ok to say “NO”…your husband is not your master and you are not his slave. If your church teaches otherwise I would consider finding a new one that treats you like a human that God made you. 

Post # 49
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Taught by who? Like, taught at home by your parents, or at church as part of teen youth group? Or by the pastor during pre-marriage counselling? I was raised and very active in a fundamentalist religion and we were never taught this. Granted, I left the church before I got married, but I was old enough that some of my girlfriends got married and I’m sure they would have shared this with me if it was sprung on them last minute or something. If you learned this from the Duggars or their ilk, well….. you’re choosing to follow some very flawed humans.

Post # 50
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

Hey girl, I’m a christian too, and it is ok to say no! Just talk to him about how your feeling! I’m assuming he’s a christian man too and he will totally get it. 🙂

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