(Closed) Is it okay for parents to do this?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Do you think that's okay?

    No way! Not even for a minute.

    It depends

    I do it all the time

  • Post # 31
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Absolutely never would I leave my kid in the car.  At any store, whether I could see her or not.  No way in hell.  Roll your eyes if you want…I can’t see you from here anyways!

    Post # 32
    Member
    3238 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    As a teacher there is nothing I hate more than helicopter, overbearing parents who don’t allow their children to learn independence or learn disappointment or to learn to figure shit out for themselves. Believe me – I have 24 six year olds in my classroom for seven hours a day. I teach my students pretty quickly that I will not be hovering over them, telling them exactly what to do, preventing them from making mistakes, etc. 

    BUT there is a big difference between teaching no independence and leaving young children in a car, alone. I’m in the “never okay” category and IA with PPs that that is an opinion – you can’t say my opinion is wrong. The world HAS changed even since I was a kid and that was less than 2 decades ago. I firmly believe in better safe than sorry and absolutely accidents or crimes can happen. A woman was at a football game on Saturday with her 7 year old and she turned around and the girl was gone – 25 minutes later the girl’s body was found in a creek and she’d been murdered. Obviously not a car situation or anything, but it shows you how quickly things can and DO happen in our world. If you could live with your mistake if a terrible tragedy happened, well, you’re stronger than me. It would kill me. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Running back into the house because I forgot my purse?  Yes.  Pumping gas, yes.  Buckling the child then walking to the next aisle to put away the cart?  Sure.  I’d never do it unless the car was still within eyesight, unless on private property like my own driveway.  Even then, not more than 5 minutes.  Too much can happen.  Once they hit 7 or so it’s far more acceptable, but not younger years.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    haileyelizabeth:  You better talk to some smarter cops then.  It is absolutely not illegal in South Carolina. (I lived in south Charlotte, and worked in both Fort Mill and Rock Hill, for YEARS.)  

    In fact, South Carolina has an incredibly a strong culture of not telling parents (or citizens generally) what they are allowed to do.  It’s why corporal punishment is so common, and why it is still allowed in the schools.   It’s also why South Carolina doesn’t have a motorcycle helmet law — and thus why motorcyclists always pull over beside Carowinds and Plaza Fiesta (or whatever it’s called now), to take off or put on their helmets as they cross from NC to SC.  It’s why South Carolina doesn’t have a state minimum wage — there are only a few other states that can make that claim.  Hell, kids who are over 5 years old and more than 80lbs don’t even need to be in car seats in South Carolina – most other states have much older age and weight limits than that.  

    South Carolina does not like telling parents, or anyone else, what to do.  And they absolutely do not have any laws about leaving kids alone in the car.  Please feel free to look up the facts yourself – google is your friend and will confirm all of the above in less than one second.

    Post # 35
    Member
    2115 posts
    Buzzing bee

    No, not ok.. ever.

    It’s against the law in Australia to leave children unattended in a car.

    Post # 36
    Member
    5187 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    If I was just running in to the convenience store or ATM I would probably leave 3 kids in the car. Not for more than 5 minutes though.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    carolinabelle:  How are times different now?  In what way?  Please explain, because the world is not more dangerous than it was.  Not by a long shot.  The only way I can think of that it’s different is that technology has advanced, and there are more phones and cameras.  But that makes the world safer, not more dangerous  So I’m still confused by what you mean.

    Crime is the lower today than it was in the 70s and 80s.  In fact, the odds of a kid getting abducted are incredibly low — all of these posters who have “heard way too many stories” are conflating real life with television.  Seriously, I’m not even joking when I say that – there are multiple academic studies that show that the more TV you watch the more likely you are to believe that the world is more dangerous than it is.  In 1999 there were 72 million kids in American, a total of 115 were abducted by strangers (from anywhere, not just cars), and only 50 were killed.  The odds of your kids being hurt by a stranger are incredibly miniscule.  They are much, much, much, MUCH likely to be hurt by their teachers, babysitters, or parents.  

    ETA:  Here are the FBI crime stats:  https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2012/crime-in-the-u.s.-2012/tables/1tabledatadecoverviewpdf/table_1_crime_in_the_united_states_by_volume_and_rate_per_100000_inhabitants_1993-2012.xls.  (I assume that we can all agree that the FBI is a credible source of crime stats?) showing a steady decrease in crime, both violent and property, from 1993-2012.  So it is true to say the world is not the same; it  is, in fact, safer.  The decline is not due to differences in reporting, either.   Hopefully you’ll trust the New York Times when they back me up with the claim that people should not believe anecdotal stories of crime, because they are just not accurate:  http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/17/upshot/perceptions-havent-caught-up-to-decline-in-crime.html?_r=0

    Post # 38
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I just had to take a written test to get my license in California, and this was one of the questions. It’s illegal here for children under 12. I know that there’s a movement to educate people about leaving dogs in their cars, since it can be extremely dangerous for them; I can’t see why it would be any safer for a small child.

    Although, honestly, I used to work in a restaurant/bar in New York, and the way parents would let their kids roam around there with no supervision, into separate rooms from them, was more concerning to me than someone leaving their kids in a locked car within their eyeline.

    Post # 39
    Member
    5540 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Disclaimer: I am not a parent. 

    However, I live in the south where it gets really hot really fast in cars from March-November frequently. Every summer there are stories about babies and toddlers left in the car and dying from heat stroke. The temp inside cars rises fast and hot. Babies can overheat way too fast to make it worth it to me to leave them in the car. Older kids can get themselves into all kinds of messes in the car. It just isnt worth it to me to leave a small child in the car-5 minutes or not. Things happen and that 5 minutes may not be that short. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1931 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m not a parent either, but “back in the day” (lol) kids were left alone for much longer periods of time at much younger ages and they all survived. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    2729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    MelissainNC:  I don’t know why you’re so adament about arguing with people’s comfort level regarding the safety of their children…. You wanna leave your kids in a car? That’s your choice. Some of us wouldn’t… don’t know why this personally offends you so much.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    Tisa85:  Corporal punishment is very common throughout the south, including NC – it’s definitely part of the southern culture (and no, I am not a supporter of it!).   Hands off government — limiting what the states can tell people to do (unless it’s a moral issue like gay marriage or abortion, then they are all about telling you what to do, but I digress) — is also a strong part of that culture.  South Carolina is culturally more southern than NC, as well as most of the other surrounding states.  I suspect only Alabama and Mississippi are comparable – and although I don’t know their laws well (I’ve never lived or worked there, whereas I’ve worked in SC), I would bet they are similar.  

    Post # 44
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    SoonAsYouCan:  People can have whatever comfort level they want.  I’m simply pointing out facts.  Where people say it’s illegal and it is not.  Where people say crime is so bad, and it is not.  Why does the fact that I’m presenting facts bother you?

    Post # 45
    Member
    8021 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I have two children (ages 12 and 4) and I never once left them in the car unattended except in my driveway to run in the house to grab something really quick. Never at a store or gas station or whatever. I don’t hover over my kids- the 12 year old walks to the bus stop and my 4 year old plays outside in our yard. But leaving them in the car alone is just not something im comfortable with.

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