(Closed) Is it okay for parents to do this?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Do you think that's okay?

    No way! Not even for a minute.

    It depends

    I do it all the time

  • Post # 61
    Member
    2003 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

    So the people saying ”never ever”, if you had twin babies in car seats and a double stroller and a 4 year old for example, you stop to pay for gas/ petrol, do you get the double stroller out and put the babies in so you can go in the station for 30 seconds? Without hesitation if I couldn’t see the car I would take them but for a couple of minutes max with them in eyesight then no way.

    Post # 62
    Member
    9841 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’ve run back into the house from my garage when I forgot something, but other than that, no. I don’t think it’s safe or okay.

    Just the other day I had an amber alert on my phone and it was because someone left their child in the car and someone stole it and drove off. Thankfully the child was found unharmed.

    If I’m getting gas I make sure the station has pay at the pump, and a coke could wait until later.

    Post # 63
    Member
    334 posts
    Helper bee

    Im in Australia and no way, ever – never, never, never. 

    Not only is it illegal,but in my particular suburb you would return to your car either with the police swarming around it or with a brick through your window – if people see a child unattended in a car, they don’t ignore it. 

    I wouldn’t leave my kids alone in a shop, in a playground, in a swimming pool or alone in public. No way would I leave them in a car. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    2729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    MelissainNC:  If you’re soooo hung up on “facts”, let’s get factual about heat stroke. It ABSOLUTELY does NOT take hours for a child to die from heat stroke. Within 10 minutes heat stroke can reach dangerous levels. Within 20 minutes, can be fatal. There was a gut wrenching video that went viral in my area after a child was seen in an SUV over the summer while the mother ran into a store to grab soomething. Someone called the cops and someone else video recorded the entire incident as civilians and cops attempted to break into the car. Finally the cop got in and pulled out the child screaming, red faced and drenched in sweat. The mother was gone less than 10 minutes. She came out of the store right as they got the child out of the car.

    Choosing to not leave a child under the age of 5 alone in a car while you go in a store does not make you a helicopter parent. It does not factually produce a codependent adult who can’t function on their own. That is NOT fact. You are totally free to have your opinions but get off your high horse.. parenting is HARD and some people don’t like to take certain risks. Trust me, I’ll let my children play in the yard, fall down without scooping them up and coddling them, I’ll let them explore and be children. But just because I consider some risks higher than others, doesn’t FACTUALLY mean I will raise an incompentent person. Some mothers struggle for years just to become pregnant and give birth. Some mothers don’t want to take any risks with their children. And that is 100% okay. So seriously, do not judge others for being a little more cautious.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    SoonAsYouCan:  Please show me where a kid has died of heat stroke while their parent paid for gas.  I’ll be waiting with baited breath.  Because the reality is that kids die of heat stroke when their parents forget they are in the car, not while the parents are paying for gas.  Yep, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    In the meantime, you may want to take a deep breath too.  Whew, who knew that a conversation about parents taking a couple minutes to get gas could get someone so worked up?

    I believe you previously said that you don’t have kids.  When you do, please feel free to parent however you want to.  However, if you think that the world is so unsafe that you can’t pay for gas without carrying them in to pay for gas, I’ll feel free to consider you a helicopter parent.   Because, yea, facts are facts.  

     

    Post # 66
    Member
    2729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    MelissainNC:  You said it takes hours… not “while paying for gas”. There’s a big difference between hours and 20 minutes. So if you want to be factual, I’m just stating the fact that you are wrong.

    Post # 67
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee

    This is one of the reasons I’m never going to be a parent, people are hella nosy and are constantly hovering over their children. I am grateful I grew up on a large property and wasn’t supervised 24/7. I also grew up in a small town where no one would bat an eye at four kids sitting in a car while mom ran into the store for something quick.

    Imo, this sort of thing is fine. But as this forum clearly proves there are many people who feel it’s criminal and might call the cops on you! 

    Post # 68
    Member
    334 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    MelissainNC:  http://ktla.com/2015/06/24/children-jump-from-moving-vehicle-as-car-thief-steals-family-car-from-gas-station-in-redlands/

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/06/16/carjacker-suv-driver-boy-inside/28799167/

    http://tenplay.com.au/news/national/october/police-hunt-man-after-car-stolen-with-baby-boy-inside-in-willagee

    http://www.startribune.com/car-stolen-with-6-year-old-son-inside-but-not-for-long/313302491/

     

    That took me 2 minutes to Google. Now seeing as you have been on your high horse for the majority of this threat, I’m going to get on mine.

    It is never okay to leave a child unattended in a car. Never. And I don’t even know what kind of term ‘helicopter parent’ is, but i’d rather be one then have my child dead/kidnapped/missing.

    Now, get over yourself, and be thankful that nothing has ever happened to you to change this rediculously strong opinion on this subject. It is NOT okay.  Not even for a minute. 

     

    Post # 70
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    View original reply
    SoonAsYouCan:  Fine.  Good for you for finding that one wrong thing I said!  The PP who said that kid could die of heat stroke while the parents who pay for gas is still wrong.  And overly dramatic.  Just like the PP who said that in the time the parent paid for gas the car’s windows would be broken and cops there.  Oh the drama some people conjure up in their minds!  Hilarious.  

    View original reply
    Kelly6871:  And yea, leaving your kids in the car with the engine running isn’t very bright, is it?  Good thing I haven’t been condoning that.  But thanks for playing.  It also doesn’t change that fact that a few isolated incidents do not make the world a big bad place from which we need to shelter our little children.

    Okay, I’m off to work.  I’m done with this thread.  Have a good day everyone.

    Post # 71
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think it would have been fine to do this 20 years ago. Today – no. If you don’t want to take your kdis out of the car, then you don’t get out of the car either and you go without whatever it is.

    Exception to this would be staying in eyesight to drop a letter into the mailbox or something. Anything out of eyesight (ie. going into a store even for a minute) – NO.

    Post # 72
    Member
    3088 posts
    Sugar bee

    Again, I cosign with Melissa all the way through this thread and I also cosign with Violet.

    If I am going to pay for gas and I can see my car clearly in my vision while I am doing so, like c’mon, give me a break. If that makes me a bad parent, so be it.

    Post # 73
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    MelissainNC:  

     Posters saying that a kid can die of heat stroke after only a few minutes? Ummm….. no. Kids die of heat stroke after hours in the car.

    Let’s strap you tightly into a carseat and lock you in a sweltering hot car and see how you feel after ‘only a few minutes’……everyone is entitled to their opinion but my god that was an incredibly inhumane thing to say. And you are a parent? How can you even think like that?

    Post # 74
    Member
    8021 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m not sure why there are posters who can’t believe that some parents never leave their kids in the car at a gas station. I mean- do you not all have “pay at the pump”? I have never even needed to consider leaving my kids because I just pay with my card at the pump- it’s such a non issue.

    Post # 75
    Member
    7365 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Not a parent.

    I think its insane. It’s not helicopter parent issue, its just not a risk at that age I’d be willing to take. Three kids less than five years? Not a 10 year old that can call for help for the other two sibllings but three children less than five. Said parent isn’t too bright nor are those who agree with it. Just an opinion. 

     

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