(Closed) Is it okay to ask for mostly gift cards/money?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

if you want cash, don’t register.

Post # 5
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You can’t make that request, but don’t make a registry.  If someone asks where you’ve registered, tell them that you didn’t make one because you’ll be moving to a new duty station and hope that they get the hint.

Post # 6
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

IMO, it really depends on who you are inviting. You know your guests better than we do. As for me, I’m in a similar situation, and when I’ve mentioned stating that we’d love help with the downpayment for a house, my family and friends have been supportive. Some have even said they know prefer to give money, because it’s flexible/easier/doesn’t disappoint anyone. So maybe throw it out there to people you are close to, and gauge their responses. We are probably going the not registering route and then just having our families pass it on. 

Also for a shower, you should definitely register. Bringing cash to a shower sounds not fun at all. 

Post # 7
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@FutureMrsWeston:  well if you register for the shower, most people are going to get you gifts. if you don’t register, most people get the hint and give cash.

Post # 8
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you want money do not register, my cousin did this and it worked. People who don’t want to give money simply won’t, they will bring a gift.

Post # 9
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Whether you acquire household things now or later, eventually you are going to have to pack them up and move when he is stationed elsewhere.

It would not be polite to state anywhere that you want money or gift cards. At most, have your family and friends pass the word.

Post # 10
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would make a very limited registry of things that you actually really really want, and don’t throw stuff on just for the sake of having items.  Then spready by word of mouth that cash/gift cards would be so wonderful only when asked, and hope the majority of people get the hint.

 

Post # 12
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

maybe you could register for some useful things like luggage? or register at bed bath, you can return items for cash. you could also ask your mom to hold off on the shower (since the idea is to shower you with gifts you can use in your new married life) and go for a housewarming shower instead.

Post # 13
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

Ok it’s not rude to ask for money/gift cards. Those types of old wedding do’s and dont’s are just that: old. 

I’ve been to weddings where the bride and groom have enough freaking pots and pans and towels, but need help with fixing their bathroom or what not, so everyone got them Home Depot gift cards.

On the invite, where you would say where you’re registered, you can have a spot that says “(Your name) and (his name) are not registered at any store, but rather are kindly asking for any donations to help them begin their journey as husband and wife.”

If you don’t want to do THAT, then just have your mom, and you, and your fiance, spread the word to friends and family via face-to-face that you aren’t registering anywhere, because of the moving and logistics, so just getting money would be easier. People get it. People aren’t jerks; especially friends and family. They’ll all go “Ooooh that makes sense. A small envelope WOULD be easier to move around with than a 6 qt Dutch Oven.” 

🙂 

Post # 14
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i wouldnt think its rude at all

Post # 16
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

I wouldn’t think it’s rude to ask for cash/gift cards considering your situation!! I think everyone understands how hard it is to move a bunch of stuff! But I don’t think you should register for very much, because you have to assume that your (shower AND wedding) guests could buy you every single thing on your registry. They may not, but that’s always a possibility. If your mom insists that you register, I would only register for small things or things that are easy to pack – like bedding/linens – and nothing fragile. Or else you could have a themed shower, like a honeymoon shower or lingerie shower, so your guests could still buy you things but they would be clothing that wouldn’t take up too much space and be a burden to move.

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