(Closed) Is it okay to ask for something back from an EX?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If it was a gift to him, then you probably shouldn’t ask for it back. If it’s your watch, I’d ask but he may not have it anymore. My ex asked me for some books back after we had been broken up for a long time (like 4 years) and I told him no, that they were mine now.

Post # 4
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010 - Wyndham Sugar Bay Resort, St. Thomas

Depends on how meaningful it was to you. A few years after my divorce, I realized that there were things I left at our house that I absolutely needed – my cosmetology school diploma, my dog’s pedigree papers and health records, etc. I actually contacted his girlfriend because I had no desire to get in touch with him directly, and she helped me out by mailing everything to me. Does he have a brother or friend that you might feel more comfortable contacting that could get it back for you? Although, IMHO somethings are definitely not worth going for, ie. things you CAN replace. Ask yourself this…is it honestly irreplacable? Is it something you could buy another one of down the road? If so, I would just let it go.

Post # 5
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I hve the same issue. My ex has a bible that my mom and dad bought me (so im super sentimental about it!) and last time i asked for it back, i never heard back from him. I mean, I really hate to take back a bible when he probably needs it, so I torture myself abot whether its okay to ask for it back or not? lol Even though, I know if something happened to my mom or dad, I would REALLY want that bible.

Post # 7
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Unfortunately, if you gave it to him as a gift (i.e you didn’t just happen to forget it at his place), then I think you have to ket it go and not ask for it back.

Post # 9
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It definitely wasnt a gift, i just left it there the day before we broke up. im a sentimental sap too, so im tempted to get it back!  i just really hate to be in any kind of contact with him or his friends, you know?

Hope youre situation gets better too Cbee!!!!

Post # 10
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

By law, since it was a gift, you can ask for it back, but he is not required to give it back to you. If you went to court to ask for it back, you would not win.

Post # 11
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Confused, is it a man’s watch or a woman’s watch?  Or a man’s watch you bought to wear yourself?  If it’s a woman’s watch or a watch you bought for yourself absolutely ask for it back.  Why not?  If he is at all a decent person of course he’ll give it back to you.

Post # 12
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I say just leeeeave it. Unless it’s super, duper important to you. I am guessing you and your ex have been broken up for a while as you are engaged so I’d just let it go.

My ex and I broke up and I threw him out pretty suddenly. He then decided about a year later to come to my house and take things that he felt belonged to him (we don’t lock our front door as we live in a rural area). I know you’re obviously not planning on doing this but I think it’s just best to move on from the past. Watches are replaceable.

Post # 13
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This reminds me of my ex. I inherited my Great Grandmas 1.5 carat platinum engagement ring (soo pretty). I too am a HUGE sentimental person and would wear the wedding bandevery day on my right hand. I also kept a “promise ring” a “bf” from 8th grade gave me (he bought it from Wal Mart, I still think it was the cutest thing ever that he promised to always be my friend, yes we still are!). It had a purple heart and CZ stones on the side, very cute. 

 

The night before I left my ex I grabbed my g-mas rings to wear and stayed at a friends, with the promise ring safely in my jewelry box inside a ring box. The next day I came back, grabbed the stuff I needed and left anything I didn’t, yes I grabbed the jewelry box without checking it. 

2 years later I was talking to his most recent (and pregnant) ex, and she mentioned that he gave her “great g-mas really expensive ring that he said is worth a lot”. She said she wore it for a week, but gave it back because it was weird (no kidding!) That’s funny, I told her, I’m wearing her ring right now. So I asked her what the ring looked like. Sure enough, the jerk STOLE the promise ring! Come to find out, the moron tried to pawn it and the guy said it wasn’t worth anything but maybe $2, so he kept it thinking the guy tried to rip him off! I laughed sooo hard! I told her what it really was, and then told the old bf about what happened, a few weeks later I got a package in the mail with a new cheapy ring, promising the same thing.

 

Exes are jerks sometimes. But yeah, if it wasn’t a gift I would wait for things to cool down and then ask for t back, I wouldn’t want him to smash it or anything!

Post # 14
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I think you can ask for it back, you might not get it.. but you can ask. It was given under certain presumptions..

Just tell him it’s Butthead Tax.

Post # 15
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think if it was a gift you shouldn’t but if its sentimental that changes things. Explain to him it means a lot to you and you’d like it back. Keep your expectations low though, exes can be vindictive sometimes.

Post # 16
Member
7450 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

let it go

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