Post # 1
I am planning to purchase two items from my girlfriend’s baby registry, but would like to spend more than the total of those two items. I am not wowed by what is left on her list so I am thinking about gifting an outfit or two from Janie and Jack at the baby shower instead.
Is it polite to buy off-registry? Or should I just stick to the list of things she asked for?
Post # 2
It’s fine. Particularly in the case of outfits. I think most people do that. Almost every baby shower I have attended, nearly every single person has attached a token cutesy item to their gift as well, such as books or a stuffed animal or a cute outfit since that isn’t the type of stuff you register for.
I think where it isn’t okay to go off registry is in buying equipment. Presumably a parent or parent-to-be has done a lot of leg work researching what they do and do not need and what brands most suit their needs. You can still do it, but I would be less inclined to go off registry for that sort of thing for a baby then I would be a wedding. Seeing all of my friends slowly waddling and having to pee every half hour in the late stages of their pregnancy, I don’t want to have to make them haul stuff to the store just to return it.
Post # 3
happycamper32 : that’s fine but my recommendation is to definitely size up. I received so many clothes from newborn to 3 months that my DS was outgrowing them when I blinked. Just keep the season you’re buying for in mind when you’re sizing up.
Post # 4
I did for my SIL’s shower. She loved the gifts I bought. I usually only stick to the registry if I don’t know the couple well – like when I went to my husband’s coworkers’s shower.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!
annabananabee : See, I feel the opposite. I wouldn’t want to go off-registry for a bridal shower because you want things to match the house. I guess it depends what you mean by equipment. Toys, especially smaller ones? Young children benefit from a variety of textures, sounds, etc, so it’s good to have more of those. Things for the bedroom though, I’d refrain from.
Post # 6
Yes. Buy them books. Many, many books. Any kind of books! Gently used books! Phonics and handwriting books! Books that teach numbers! Books! And I ALWAYS purchase clothes that are older than newborn clothes (and larger diapers too) because I assume they’ll be getting absurd amounts of newborn clothes and diapers.
Post # 7
moissamight : No. Toys are toys. Most of my friends don’t register for toys or outfits. They know they’ll be gifted a lot of that stuff just by nature of people like buying cute things for cute tiny humans without prompting. Grandparents are notorious for spoiling cute grandbabies with that stuff. Equipment like baby monitor, diaper genie, diaper bags, pack and plays, walkers, slings, bottle warmers, car seats, strollers, etc.
I’d be way more concerned about what is/isn’t safe or needed for the care of a tiny human or makes the lives of the deadass tired parents harder/easier than whether the vase I bought matches someone’s teal home decor.
Post # 8
Yes, totally fine! I received a lot of things that my mom friends were like, “trust me, you need this” and we used and loved almost all of them. Portable husher, certain board books, more bibs than we registered for, a favorite stuffed animal, butt paste, etc.
Clothes are always welcome but do buy in size 6-9mos or bigger. They’ll get sooo much newborn (useless!) and 0-3/3-6 clothes. I preferred footed jammies over outfits but that may have just been me. We lived in footed jammies for 6+ months. Hannah Anderson makes really soft but durable jammies in cute colors, stripes & patterns. They’re like $40 but worth the investment because they’ll last through 3 kids.
Post # 9
happycamper32 : I buy off the registry, and I also throw in a few outfits they’ll grow in to in 6 mos to a year. Every new mom gets a ton of outfits the baby will grow out of within the first month, or so. I’ve always received a big “thank you” for the bigger sizes. Diapers are also a well-received extra.
Post # 10
It should be called giving a gift, not “going off registry.” There is never anything wrong with it. To the contrary, traditional etiquette disapproves of registries and liberal etiquette considers them just an option.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2019 - Cortland, NY
Every baby shower I go to, I get a single book, a single outfit (or a pack if it’s like a mix-and-match situation I fall in love with), and a single toy. I never have bought a single registry item for a baby shower, mainly because I’m not going to drop $200 on a stroller. XD
I always enjoy buying baby shower items though! Ugh, babies are so cute.
Post # 12
Getting books, outfits, toys, etc off registry is great! I loved getting those items and didn’t bother registering for them becuase it’s more personal what people want to pick out. I know in my case, I made a registry because I was asked by family and spent a lot of time making sure all the bigger items were the ones I actually was going to use. I ended up getting some off registry bigger items and had to donate them because we have little space and don’t have the stores near us. It’s not a problem as I’m thankful for any gift, but I do wish people had saved their money since we weren’t able to exchange. I would just avoid getting bigger things/baby gear off registry unless you don’t care if that money just goes down the drain.
Post # 13
I always buy items that aren’t on the registry. I usually get a case of size 1 pampers since that is the size they’re usually in the longest and pampers aren’t usually on the registry but are always needed.
Post # 14
happycamper32 : Going off registry is fine as long as you look at the registry first to make sure it’s substatially picked over. Totally get going off registry when the only things left are big things (strollers, swings, things over your dollar limit) or baby contraptions that no one really needs.
We had several things left in the need column that were fairly inexpensive (under $15) but weren’t cute and so people don’t like to buy them. Think diaper cream and a wipe holder — while inexpensive, when all of those things are left over because they’re not as cute as a stuffed animal, they’re expensive to buy in the aggregate.
Agreed with other posters that if you do end up going off registry, be smart about it and buy an outfit or two for after the baby is 6 months old and try not to get sucked in by all the super cute newborn stuff. We got tons of newborn/0-3 month outfits, 10 stuffed animals, and 6 blankets all off registry — and while we’re so thankful, I’m worried that half of it will never get used.
Post # 15
I just had my baby shower this weekend. I think only two people bought off the registry. I’m appreciative of every gift I get and realize no one has to get me anything, so I’m not upset about it. From talking to moms, I know that they usually get a ton of clothes for baby showers, so I purposely haven’t spent too much on clothing for baby and that was the right move. This kid now has outfits until he turns 2.