Is it okay to buy off-registry for baby shower gifts?

posted 4 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
7856 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

happycamper32 :  absolutely! I specifically didn’t register for clothes (apart from some plain white onesie multi-packs) because I figured most of my family and friends enjoy picking out cute little baby outfits. I was right! I got so many cute outfits. 

The only things that really should be stuck to the registry are things like car seat, stroller, high chair, changing pad, and any health/bathing items as those were likely heavily researched before being added to the registry. If someone had gifted me a different carseat I would have been annoyed that I had to go through the process of returning it. 

eta: don’t forget about mom! Everyone gets the baby stuff but a lot of people forget about the new momma. My SIL (who was new to the family and I didn’t know very well yet) bought me all of the nursing bras I registered for and I thought she was a goddess for it. She was so cute and was like “I’m sorry if this is weird, but I know the baby was early and these were still on the registry and I thought you probably really actually need them” and she was dead on. My boobs were so thankful lol. 

Post # 17
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Totally okay! I always buy books and they’re never on the registry. Also a lot of new moms don’t know what all they need either. 

Post # 18
Member
7816 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You can 100% do whatever you want…any gift at all is generous! However, as someone who recently had a baby, I wouldn’t stray too far from the registry. Yeah, items like a wipe dispenser or a butt thermometer may not “wow” you, but those items are going to be way more useful to your friend than yet another cute outfit that the baby may grow out of before it ever has a chance to wear it. I cannot tell you how many expensive baby outfits people generously gave me for my shower that my baby NEVER wore because she grew out of them before we had a chance. It’s just not practical to stuff a baby into a fancy or overly cutesy outfit on a day to day basis. If you really do want to go for an outfit though, I’d pick something like Magnetic Me PJs in size 3-6m or bigger…those are cute and very convenient, and a bit of a splurge so not something she wouold necessarily buy for herself. Or zipper PJs. And as pp said, books are always good!! Cannot go wrong there. (Just don’t get yet another copy of Goodnight Moon!) 

Post # 19
Member
2028 posts
Buzzing bee

Just keep in mind that similar to a bridal registry the things on the registry are what they actually need/want the most and a lot of cutesy baby outfits are worn once or not at all.  If you go a bit practical like zipper pajamas and long sleeve onesies they may be used.  

Post # 20
Member
9174 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

make sure you give a gift slip.  clothes they grow out of so quickly.

you can’t go wrong with books or things they can grow into in a few months, think toys or items for when they are 6m.

Post # 21
Member
9174 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

tiffanybruiser :  but we’ve needed multiple copies of goodnight moon, lol. we still read nightly to my 3yo and from use the board books come apart and we’ve had to replace. 

Post # 22
Member
7000 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s hard NO from me. Unless you are a mom yourself and are gifting to another new mom, and you’ve discovered some AMAZING baby item they don’t know about yet. Otherwise, stick to the registry.

You know the mom to be best, so if you feel she’d like what you pick out by all means who are we to tell you otherwise. I’m just going to say that it’s the #1 thing myself and most other moms I know were annoyed with was when people shopped off the registry because we all ended up with so much stuff we didn’t need/want. I tried to be very specific with what I registred for and not get every gadget out there. 

I’ll be Negative Nancy and say that I *hate* when people gift me clothes for my baby. I fully admit that I am super super picky with children’s clothing. I appriciate the sentiment and LOVE that people wanted to spoil our little guy, but I honestly would rather people not waste their money because I’ve basically donated every item of clothing we’ve been gifted. Almost every single time they either buy something that is too big or too small, and not the appropriate season for the size (because you have NO IDEA how big their baby will be or have fast they will grow)……or, and I’ll just flat out say it….it’s ugly and I won’t put my kid in it. I know I might be extreme in that sentiment but it’s just how I feel. 

My go-to shower gift is to purchase the bathtub (if not already bought) or get a giant basket and fill it with the essentials they’ve registered for : diapers, wipes, butt paste, aquafor, baby bum spatula, bibs, bath towel, etc. That stuff is so often overlooked because it’s not cute – but you can totally make it cute in how you display it! 

Post # 23
Member
7000 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

To add I realized my posted may sound a little spoiled and to clarify….I know there are a lot of people who are not financially in a position to be picky about what they get for their baby shower and who are so thankful for anything and everything they are given. My post is NOT in any way geared towards them. If you know the mom in question will love whatever she’s given by all means go for it. 

 

Post # 25
Member
620 posts
Busy bee

Ofcourse it is ok, you dont need to give anybody anything so if they are salty because you actually put thought into a gift instead of buying off their wish list then what kind of gross person are they…

I never buy of registers as I feel you may aswell just give cash, I like to suprise a person after putting some real thought into gifts. 

Also, you don’t need to be a mum to find hidden gems, when a Mum finds something that changes their life (baby item wise) it is all over those mums and bubs forums haha

Go for it gal!

Post # 26
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

I try to stick to the registry unless it’s super picked over because I know it takes a lot of time and effort to research all of the baby gear out there and put together a list.

To be honest, I wouldn’t normally do a registry for myself but I found lots of people specifically asked, and it was a way for me to keep track of the stuff we still had to buy/wanted.

With stuff like clothes, books, toys it’s ok to go off registry imo, but not the big gear. If there’s not much on the registry, I’ll usually get things that I’ve found to be super useful for me as a mom. 

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