(Closed) Is It Okay To Do Digital RSVP???

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

I think it’s totally fine and applaud your eco-friendly-ness 🙂

Post # 4
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it’s fine just beware that the technologically challenged (like me) sometimes don’t know what to do if you can’t make it.  A friend sent me one recently and the online respond appeared as though it was accepts only which completely confused me.

Hers were a single card mailed out with all of the information on a photo-style card.  It was really cute!

Post # 5
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s fine as long as all your guests are tech-savvy enough to figure out what to do. Be prepared for a little more RSVP chasing than you might get if you were to provide a return envelope, as people tend to forget to go to your website after reading the paper invite.

Post # 6
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That’s what we did and I didn’t have a single issue with it.

Post # 7
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s fine, but I do agree that from what I’ve seen it does involve a little more RSVP chasing: a lot of the bee bloggers that have had only digital RSVPS (like Mrs. Potion) have had very few of their guests actually RSVP! 

Post # 8
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think that it makes perfect sense. The majority of people have Internet, with the exception of maybe a few old people. Even if you did paper RSVP, you’d still end up tracking people down in the end. With online RSVPs it is probably just a different group. 

Post # 9
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I am doing online RSVPs, but on the insert it also gives the option of calling one of our cell phones in case they would prefer to call/text us instead.

Post # 10
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I went to a wedding earlier this year that did that and I loved it. I BEGGED Darling Husband to do this and he wouldn’t budge! I say go for it if you think your guest list wouldn’t cause too much of a stink. I would definitely send real ones to the older crowd though, just to appease the “old ways” of etiquette.

Post # 11
979 posts
Busy bee

I would do it for a small wedding.  

Post # 12
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ebony_Aisha:  We are also doing this but we are giving the option of either my phone number or email to rsvp.  I would include a phone number for people who don’t use the computer.

Post # 14
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@Ebony_Aisha:  “My thoughts” are, that traditional proper etiquette is largely on your side, and would encourage you to cut back your paper use even farther:

Traditional etiquette’s close cousin, traditional aesthetics holds the principle that “Less is more.” The most elegant invitation is a single card without additional inserts and certainly without unnecessary ones. It is properly your guests’ responsibility to reply correctly: in writing to a written invitation, verbally to a spoken invitation and by extension, by telephone to a telephoned invitation, and so on. Socially sophisticated guests are supposed to know this, and to own their own stationery and stamps for taking care of the “in writing to a written invitation” part, so no bride has any obligation to provide R.s.v.p. stationery and stamps for her guests. She just needs to provide them with the appropriate address. Traditionally this is done by putting the letters “R.s.v.p.” in small print in the lower left of the invitation, followed by the address (which in your case would be a web address). As long as your website has nice clear instructions on its home page, that is all you need to put. No instructions on the invitation. No extra card insert.

Of course, your socially sophisticated guests who know traditional etiquette and are sticks-in-the-mud about it, will still take out their personal stationery and write:

Miss Aspasia Phipps
accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of
Miss Aisha
to her wedding on Saturday the ninth of August
and would prefer the Griddled Tofu Cordon Bleu

so you won’t be able to save the environment from the gratuitous paper-use of folks like us. But most of your guests will follow your hint.

Now, if you want to save even more paper, you can forego inner envelopes as well, as long as you word the invitation proper so that it has a space where you can write in the names of whom you are actually inviting. The traditional wording would be along the lines of this:

Miss Ebony Aisha
requests the pleasure of the company of
Miss Phipps

to her wedding on Saturday the ninth of August at eleven o’clock in the morning


The “Miss Phipps” is hand-written into the space left on the invitation. Or, in this lovely modern age of computer-driven print runs, assuming you are not having traditional copper-plate engraving done, you can even do a mail-merge so that your invitations have the “write-in” line pre-filled in the same font and ink as the rest of the invitation.

Post # 15
1106 posts
Bumble bee

@SweetDeeReynolds:  Exactly what I was going to suggest! Include a phone number to get the RSVPs just in case they run into any issues with the online system.

Post # 16
29 posts
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Pecan Springs Events in Brookshire

We gave them an option to either mail or online RSVP. We sent out 60 invites and a 20% of them went online to RSVP.

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