(Closed) Is it okay to go ahead with TTC?

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I don’t see much of a difference between now or three monmths from now. What was going to change in those three months?

Post # 3
Member
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why not just sit down and have a discussion with him about it? Tell him what you told us….that you’re ready to start trying now but don’t want him to resent you. Express you’re reasons and listen to his.

Post # 4
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My guess is that after your initial discussion about this, he spent a few weeks mulling it over on his own – maybe even chatted with some of his friends or something – and slowly started to get his head around the idea. This is basically what happened with with my husband. We got married in May and had always said “maybe a year from now we’ll start TTC” – but pretty soon after the wedding, I began to feel antsy about my age (32) and felt like we shouldn’t wait a whole year. I expressed those feelings to DH over the summer – he was kind of taken aback and not really ready yet at that point, so I dropped it. Then about a month later out of the blue he brought the subject up on his own and was like ok let’s do this! And so we began.

Post # 5
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee

Just start having fun with it for the next three months. He doesn’t have to know the ins and out of your cycle (yet). And if at 3 months, you haven’t gotten pregnant, then you guys can sit down and really start “planning” it. I would just have a blast through the holidays, and start “scheduling” in the New Year!

Post # 8
Member
3888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
zebra10 :  Maybe just focus on charting for now so that when the original 3 months is up, you know what’s happening and when you’re ovulating?  (Unless you’re just going to wing it.)  It sounds like he’s willing to put your desires before his own, which is great and all, but compromising is still a good option – 3 months is still tipped in your favor, given that you want to start now and he wants to wait for years.

I’m kinda in the same boat except I’m 35 and he’s 44!  He wants to wait til January and for a variety of reasons, even that is sooner than either of us are really 100% ready for.  But there’s the inconvenient fact that we’re old AF, so I want to start tomorrow! but am willing to wait just a bit more.

PS – trust me that I take age-related fertility declines very seriously for obvious reasons – but I agree with the poster below me that 31 is still plenty young.  ~37 is when things tend to drop off dramatically.

Post # 9
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee

Given that you’re only 31 and your husband’s reservations, I would wait a year. Maybe re-discuss at 6 months. 

Post # 10
Member
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can understand where you’re coming from, because you just never know. I’m currently 32 and it did not come easy for us. We were not trying/not preventing for 2.5 years with no pregnancy. Then we were TTC for a full year before we got pregnant and then proceeded to have two losses. I’m finally pregnant now but by the time my due date rolls around it will be 2 years since we started trying. I don’t share my story to scare anyone, because I am a firm believer you shouldn’t have a baby until you’re both ready. But I also think it’s easy for those who already have kids (or who aren’t in a rush to have kids) to say that you’ve got plenty of time when you’re in your 30’s….but sometimes our hearts/brains don’t always agree. At the end of the day I don’t want to be 35, 36, 37, + struggling to still get pregnant.

If you feel you’re ready, have one more conversation with him and then maybe just come off your BC and see what happens. Maybe he’s had time to reflect and has changed his mind.

Post # 11
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If you are on hormonal birth control, I would get off of it now.  Some people take a while to get their cycle going after stopping hormones.  So, maybe you will be one of the lucky people who gets a normal cycle right away, and then you can start trying sooner.  Or maybe it will take the 3 months anyway.  Also, are you taking prenatal vitamins?  If not, that is a good reason to hold off a little bit while you start taking them.  Tell him you are going to start getting your body ready to TTC at his 3 month timeline, and if it happens by accident before then, it will be a happy surprise.

Post # 12
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Just remember that once you concieve, you’ll have 9 whole months to figure out all of the details 😉 

Post # 14
Member
616 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
zebra10 :  I strongly discourage TTC before both partners are 100% ready.  The excuse of not knowing how long it will take at 31 with no diagnosed fertility issues is just that–a made up excuse to justify what you want.  Go to your dr and get some testing done and also a SA for your husband.  If all is well, why would you potentially jeopardize your marriage by TTC before he’s ready over unsubstantiated fears of infertility? 

The topic ‘Is it okay to go ahead with TTC?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors