(Closed) Is it okay to have big ceremony and dance and only immediate family for supper?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

congrats on your engagement!

I’m a little confused by your post.

Do you mean that you would have the ceremony and dance (reception?), then after the dance was over, separately have a dinner for just family?

Or, do you mean, all would be invited to the dance, but during the dance, only family would be served food? If you mean this, honestly, I do not think that is a good idea. I think you should have something for everyone, even if it is just water/soft drinks/punch and cake. It would be unfair to serve certain people full dinners, while the rest get nothing.

If you plan on having no refreshments at all during the dance/reception, I think you should somehow let the guests know that ahead of time as well, so they know to eat before getting there.

Just my 2 cents.

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Congratulations!

You say you’re paying for the wedding yourselves – are all 200 of those folks people you want to invite?  If you’re the one writing the checks you get final say over the guest list, so maybe do some pruning and then reassess the situation?

Alternatively, maybe a dinner and dancing wedding isn’t for you.  A more casual daytime affair may mean more bang for your buck, allowing you to invite all 200 people to a stylish, budget friendly wedding.

 

Post # 5
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

The other pps are right.  You can’t invite some guests to one part of the event and others to the rest.  People talk and they will get offended. 

Why not have a pre-wedding celebration with just family the night before where you can have a nice dinner with them.  Then do the ceremony and cake/dancing with all the guests.  Like the first poster said, just make sure you have on the invitations light reception or something so guests know what to expect.

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i agree with the others, i would try to find another way to cut costs. maybe do a dessert reception or cake and punch, but let everybody be included.

Post # 8
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Another idea: have a day-time ceremony and punch and cake for everyone afterwards. Have a casual open-house dinner after pictures, then go out for an after party for dancing with friends and some family.

I think it will be too awkward to have a dinner, then invite people to come over after dinner. It will feel very exclusive.

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I know people have the ceremony and then hours later have the reception because of timing issues between the two venues.  I’ve been to one wedding where the wedding was around 2pm and then the receptions was at 7pm.  It was awkward to find something to do especially for those of us out of town guests.  And it was like do we go ahead and eat in between or wait for 7pm.

 

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