(Closed) Is it okay to host your own baby shower nowadays?

posted 3 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 61
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

Honestly I couldn’t tell you who the “hosts” were of the last event I attended, whether it be a wedding or a shower. Its not something I pay attention to. I would go, bring a gift, and not even think twice about it.

Post # 62
Member
817 posts
Busy bee

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diana148 :  It’s possible to have family and friends who love you without having family and friends who are in a financial, emotional, or logistical space to take on the burden of HOSTING a party for you. ATTENDING a party is a quite different demand. 

Post # 63
Member
2043 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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personaperson :  I agree with certain points. Maybe it would be better to have an alternative to ‘showers’ though. No one wants to be the one to turn up without a gift (gifts are given and opened at showers in the UK, there is not normally a registry). 

I don’t fall inline with all the etiquette rules I see on here though because a lot of them are US based. We had a cash bar at our wedding (provided wine and champagne) which is totally acceptable here but to some bees it’s the ultimate crime. Kind of upsetting to be called tacky for it. 

Post # 64
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

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EllyAnne :  My reason was to show it’s not like I am asking for gifts. I want to celebrate and cost is not an issue nor having the baby shower is for gifts. I was paying a high price per plate which I did not mind. Also, the reason why I wouldn’t want to inconvenience any family members with having to pay such a high price. That was all sorry if it came across in another way it really was not my intention. Thank you for your compliment! Be well! 

Post # 66
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

I’ve been to 3 baby showers in 2020 that were hosted by the parents to be. Not everyone wants to put the task of hosting a baby shower onto others. I brought a gift to each. 

Post # 67
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

It makes no difference to me who’s hosting. I go and give gifts regardless of who’s hosting. It’s about celebrating the baby and I’m not one to get worked up over etiquette. If others feel differently, they don’t have to go. 

Post # 68
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Host it. The people who think it is tacky won’t come, and the people who support you will come. Problem solved and everyone is happy. 

Post # 69
Member
13231 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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personaperson :  Hosting your own wedding was never rude. I don’t know where you might have heard that, but it isn’t remotely true. The *custom* years ago was for parents to host a wedding for a daughter still living at home. But the default *responsibility* for an independent couple living on their own was always theirs, even then. 

As for not wanting to “burden” others with the cost of a shower, that assumes showers are anything other than the modest, intimate, low key and totally optional events they are meant to be. 

Post # 70
Member
13231 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
personaperson :  Hosting your own wedding was never rude. The *custom* years ago was for parents to host a wedding for a daughter still living at home. But the default *responsibility* for an independent couple living on their own was always theirs, even then. 

As for not wanting to “burden” others with the cost of a shower, that assumes showers are anything other than the modest, intimate, low key and totally optional events they are and were always meant to be. 

Post # 71
Member
3343 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Sorry but even in 2020 still tacky af to throw a party for yourself asking others to shower you with gifts….

 

Post # 73
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
diana148 : Maybe she doesn’t have friends close enough to host the shower but has coworkers she’s kind of friendly with she wants to invite? It’s not uncommon for people to not have a lot of close friends as adults and she shouldn’t be made to feel weird about it. This isn’t high school. 

Post # 74
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m team just throw your own shower. I’ve never asked who was hosting a bridal or baby shower before or cared…I’m guessing most other people won’t either. Send invites and have a party, you don’t have to feel bad for wanting to celebrate this. If someone thinks it’s rude or grabby then they don’t have to attend! 

Post # 75
Member
817 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
weddingmaven :  

 

A wedding– An event celebrating an experience in YOUR life where it is considered socially normal for guests to give gifts. 

A baby shower- An event celebrating an experience in YOUR life where it is considered socially normal for guests to give gifts. 

Tell me the difference. 

And whether baby showers are low-key or modest is entirely up to the person paying for it. Just like weddings. 

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