Post # 1
When we were in the early stages of wedding planning we both said we wanted no alcohol, especially because for fiance’s family alcohol ruined his brother and especially his dad, to the point where the family almost lost everything because of it. On my side, my uncle’s alcoholism is so bad that they had an intervention for him.
Some people were relieved to hear about the no alcohol (because of their own trauma with alcoholism in the family) while others were kind of meh about it. The thing is that we hired a DJ and were worried that not too many people would dance without alcohol, so we decided to maybe just do wine, sangria, and and maybe beer and hard cider (we like hard cider a lot). But our food is going to be Italian and it kind of makes more sense to stick with wine.
Anyway, my friends happen to be big drinkers. So I’m trying to throw them a bone. I already made it clear that there is no open bar. I really don’t want anyone killing themselves becaues I distributed too much alcohol at my wedding, and I know that some people think that adults should be able to make their own decisions but a number of my guests have been banned from clubs, gotten DUIs, completely wrecked their cars from driving drunk, etc. I plan on providing enough alcohol so that each drinker will be able to have 3-4 drinks each. Does that seem okay or am I being too much of a mom?
Post # 3
I think that sounds totally fine, do whatever you want! I’ve heard a lot of bees do tickets for drinks, and then any extra than your ticketed allotment is cash bar. That way you could kind of control how much people drink.
Post # 4
We had wine and beer only, we had a lot of drinkers in the bunch, and it was completely fine. I never heard a peep about there not being hard alcohol!
Post # 5
It’s your wedding, so you should do what you want to do! Beer and wine alone is more than fine!
Post # 6
I’ve heard of some places doing a cash bar with a max amount – say $500 worth, then after that the guests pay for themselves. I think it’s fine what you’re doing – it’s a nice compromise, you’re trying to have alcohol while keeping it responsible/reasonable. I would probably do something similar, too – beer, wine and hard cider since that’s what you like. I’m sure anyone who wants to drink will find something within those 3 options that will satisfy that desire.
Post # 7
I think that’s perfectly fine. Everybody should be able to find something they don’t mind drinking out of those options if they care for alcoholic beverages.
However assuming you provide enough for 3-4 drinks per person and you have lots of non drinkers that’s still plenty for people to overindulge.
Post # 8
I think as long as you’re still offering beer and wine, there’s not a big deal about not having hard liquor, as long as it’s okay in your circle! It’s your wedding – if limiting the alcohol is going to put you at ease that day, then that’s the best option.
Post # 9
I think it’s fine….
My problem is that one of our groomsmen can’t drink fizzy stuff (ie beer and hard cider) and dislikes wine….he drinks rye usually….so we would definitely try to accommodate him…
just make sure that other guests can drink these items….and i think it’s fine….
Post # 10
No matter what you plan on doing it is fine because it is YOUR day. I think we did two types of beer and two types of wine. Any mixed drinks the guests paid for themselves. Everyone had a great time and danced!
Post # 11
I think so. I went to a wedding at a vineyard and only options were wine and beer and I didn’t think twice about it.
Post # 12
There’s a difference between hosting a party and being considerate of your guests and hosting a party that bends over backwards to please your guests. So long as you provide “the basics,” meaning something to eat and drink (and by “eat and drink” that could be a slice of cake and a glass of punch or champagne), then it would be rude of your guests to criticize your offering. It’s your wedding. You get to decide what to serve. I’ve been to open-bar weddings, wine & beer only weddings, and dry weddings and all of them were totally fun.
(On a personal note, I don’t get when an open bar because some sort of a requirement. If someone can’t have a good time without an open bar, they’ve got problems.)
Post # 13
We are only having beer and hard cider. Our friends definitely like to drink, but most of our families will not. (His grandpa has been sober for 10 years, his dad refuses to drink b/c an alcohol related death in the family, and my family are for the most part crazy christian teetotalers).
We love wine, but most people would rather have beer, and it’s cheaper! We also love red wines, but many people don’t, and everyone loves cider.
Post # 14
Yeah, giving out drink tickets is tempting but I don’t want to go overboard with it…maybe if we found a cute way to do it. I bet people who do a carnival theme give out carnival tickets or something. I might try to do something like this if only because I don’t want certain people to hog the majority of the liquor, thus leaving others with just one drink or so. Because having someone who will try to drink 3-4 bottles’ worth of wine will almost definitely happen.
The idea of a cash bar at a wedding is strange to me and I think I’d much rather run out of alcohol an hour before the party’s over than have people pay. I know people will have their expectations going in but at the same time they know us, and even if they don’t agree I don’t have to let those opinions affect me.
Thanks for the advice.
Post # 15
@littlegreenleaf: that is plenty! I think that is a great variety..
Post # 16
I think that’s plenty! I don’t drink beer or wine, but I loveee hard cider, so I would definitely appreciate that extra.