(Closed) Is it okay to not invite "once removed" cousins?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it okay to not invite cousin's kids?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    89 %
    No : (2 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think it’s totally fine as long as you let them know ahead of time that you are trying to keep the kids number low or that you are only inviting the people you are closest to 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @kateisstoned:  I’m not inviting any of my cousin’s children. I just don’t know most of them. My mom and Mother-In-Law know that we are having no kids at our wedding and I just asked them to mention it when they see them (they see my family way more than I do.) So far, it hasn’t been a big deal for me. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    7206 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @kateisstoned:  We did this. I have cousins who are 8 & 9 that we invited because I don’t have a lot of cousins. Fiance has tons of cousins so we decided that we would only invite cousins and not second cousins (or cousins once removed). I think this is a reasonable guideline.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1776 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Are venue/size restrictions and/or budget that tight?

    If so, how much drama will it stir up between Fiance and his family?  Is he relatively close to them?  Will FI’s parents spin-up into a tizzy?

    If it will cause drama is it worth it over 7 people (children) – and apparently it isn’t a question of kids or no kids, it’s a question of which kids.  

    It does seem to me that it might cause some hurt feelings if your cousin’s kids are  invited, but his are not.  Only you and your Fiance can judge the liklihood of drama and if any fallout is worth it.

    Good Luck!

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    @kateisstoned:  There is only one rule of etiquette when it comes to who must be invited.  The only people that must be invited are social unit (married, engaged, living together) partners.  Some people on this site claim that any romantic partner of your guest must be invited, but no etiquette authority backs this up.

     

    You don’t want to invite your mom.  No problem, just don’t invite your (still married to your mom) dad.

     

    You don’t want to invite one of your seven sisters.  No problem, just don’t invite her husband.

     

    You want to invite Fritz’s kids Hans, and Louisa, but not your colleage from work’s children.  No problem. They aren’t a social unit partner of their parents.  Or part of a social unit on their own

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    7206 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @fascinated:  I think she is saying her cousins are actually kids not that she will invite her cousins kids. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @kateisstoned:  So pumped you asked this … I was wondering the same thing! I have 8 cousins on my stepfather’s side that have I think 12 kids amongst them. Even though one of them is 16, I think, 12 extra people is a lot!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1776 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MrsBeck: gottcha.  Different degree of relationship between cousins on her side and his.  So less possibility for drama.  Hopefullyl that’ll be the way it plays out. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @kateisstoned:  I think it’s ok to let someone else do it. I understand because my Future Mother-In-Law has several siblings, all with kids, and their kids have kids. We are only inviting first cousins and aunts/uncles which is over 30 people already! It’s completely ok to ask Future Mother-In-Law or Fiance to let them know as they are closer to them 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    7206 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @fascinated:  I sure hope so since that’s what we’re doing!

    The topic ‘Is it okay to not invite "once removed" cousins?’ is closed to new replies.

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