Post # 1
I am new here and would appreciate some advice. Do you and your SO ever playfully smack each other on the face? My boyfriend is a pretty goofy and playful guy, and when we are joking around, playing and laughing, he will at times smack me on the face lightly for fun. I have told him repeatedly that I dislike these gestures because:
1. I find them super annoying.
2. I find them to be kind of disrespectful to me.
Now I by no means am against play fighting in general – I love playfighting, but I just have an issue with playful smacks on the face. I have told my boyfriend repeatedly to stop doing it because of these reasons above.
However, in his own defense, he says this is just the way he is – very playful. He says this is just one of his many ways of showing affection and love. However, I have told him that if he respected me and our relationship, he would stop doing something like this because I don’t like it. He does not seem to understand this because according to him, it’s just out of fun and love, and I shouldn’t be taking it so seriously.
Anyway, by no means is my guy abusive or controlling. We have never gotten even close to any type of physical argument. Overall, he is super great and loving, it’s just this one thing that really annoys me.
Please tell me if my annoyance is justified. We have been arguing about this a lot recently and it’s wearing both me and him down. I have told him that I think it’s totally dumb to fight about something this stupid, so the obvious solution is for him to stop.
Post # 3
@PennyT: If you’re not ok with it, then it’s not ok. Period.
Post # 4
Fiance never does that to me but I do it to him sometimes. He says he’s not found it annoying.
But I do see where you’re coming from. If Fiance were to do it to me, I would find it kind of annoying mainly because sometimes I don’t like to be touched on my face, and it would probably elicit some sort of uppercut from me at times.
If it’s all in the name of fun, I wouldn’t mind. But if your SO keeps doing it after you tell him not to, that may be a problem.
Post # 6
I would not find that playful or cute, and neither would my husband.
Post # 7
I agree with PP – If you aren’t okay with it, it shouldn’t matter what other people think about it.
Personally for me, the face is off limits. We poke fun & play slap each other in other places [arms, hands, legs], but we never ever go for the face. There are too many easily hurt parts on your face that a light tap really hurts [eyes, nose, chin]
Post # 8
It’s not ok if you told him repeatedly not to do it.
I sometimes (very occassionally)do it to my fiance (very gently/playfully), but he laughs and thinks it’s funny. But if he told me he thought it was annoying or disrespectful to him, I’d stop immediately.
Post # 9
If you told him you don’t like it, then it’s not okay.
That would annoy the shit out of me.
Post # 10
I’m all about playful smacks on the butt, but not the face, I don’t think I would like that. I wouldn’t go screaming abuse, but just I think if you are not okay with it it needs to stop.
Post # 11
If you didn’t mind him giving playful smacks, then personally I wouldn’t think it was a problem. But you do mind, so he needs to respect your feelings and stop doing it. And frankly, I think it is a little weird that he is insisting on it.
Post # 12
It do this to my boy, but he hasn’t done it to me – mainly because I am a LOT more playful than him and he doesn’t playfight in general, whereas I do all the time. I don’t think it means anything or is a big deal in itself, but if it makes you uncomfortable, it makes you uncomfortable, and he should stop.
Post # 13
@s2bmrscook: +1. For something to be playful and fun, both people need to find it playful and fun. My Fiance smacks my ass all the time, which I find annoying but don’t actually object to. I would absolutely object to him smacking my face.
Post # 14
Nope, not playful or cute. A smack to the face=Never, a playful slap on the ass= Yes
Post # 15
@PennyT: this is not a poll question. If you don’t like it then demand that he stops. Set ground rules for play fighting. I don’t like being touched on the thighs (they bruise easily) and he doesn’t like getting hit in the face.
Post # 16
@PennyT: Doesn’t matter what anyone here thinks or what our playfighting is like with our partners. If YOU don’t like it and find it disrespectful, he shouldn’t do it.