Post # 1
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
I swore I wouldn’t be THAT girl who plans the wedding even when she isn’t even engaged… but now I know (SO told me) that we will be engaged in a month or less, and so I can’t help but to get wedding ideas, especially since I don’t know if we will have to pay for our entire wedding or if our parents will help out (and I want to start planning to get an idea of the cost so I know how much to start saving!). Yet I feel a bit guilty and weird planning without being officially engaged. What are your thoughts?
Post # 2
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
I don’t think it’s too out of the ordinary. As long as you’re both on board with it, I don’t see a problem. I would not book any vendors until it’s offical, though.
My fiance and I started planning before we were officially engaged – it just sort of happened naturally. I got a little impatient, though, and after an argument about the guest list (still pre-engagement!), I put my foot down, and said no more wedding planning until we are official! 🙂
Post # 3
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee
Most women look at pretty wedding stuff before they actually get engaged and think about what they would like. So I dnot think its a big deal. I would not be booking anything though. If a couple does book things together then I think regardless of any proposal they are for all intents and purposes engaged.
Post # 4
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
I had a pinterest board that was set to secret before being engaged. We had talked about it at that point and I knew we were heading that way. My now fiance did know about it but I didn’t want everyone I know seeing it. I didn’t book anything until after we were engaged.
Post # 5
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
Don’t book anything without knowing how you are paying for it!!! But otherwise, go ahead and collect ideas…. ever heard of that website, you know, pinterest? lol 
Post # 6
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC
alexnbrian: Daydreaming and looking at/considering ideas are one thing, booking venues and stuff are something else.
Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
Confession: I started planning our wedding as soon as we started saying, “You’re the one I want to marry.” That was 6 months after we started dating and we had a 3 and a half year dating relationship and a 6 month engagement. I got my wedding dress just before our one year aniversary. Call me crazy, and yes I could have been setting myself up for disaster had we not worked out. But we both knew we were going to get married and we did. So I didn’t set myself up for disaster. 😛 That’s how I justify buying the wedding dress so early. Hehe
Post # 8
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
I admit … I was pinteresting my “future” wedding without ever knowing if I was ever getting engaged or not. I kept it to myself though. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it or feel like I’m pressure my FH about it especially since we weren’t even engaged yet at the time.
It just helps to have some ideas and somewhat get ahead on what you would like before the time actually comes where you do get engaged. Nothing wrong with a little “window” shopping LOL.
-
This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by lilwickedful. Reason: forgot something to add
Post # 9
Member
8679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
If it’s only a month to wait then I would probably wait. Of course I would be looking at stuff online but not making any concrete plans.
Post # 10
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
I had some very firm ideas/plans while I was waiting, and I think it has helped a lot to avoid the engagement whirlwind and stress that sometimes happens. Getting ideas while you’re still level headed about the wedding (but NOT booking vendors, PPs are spot on) can help you once you’re engaged and people are throwing their own ideas at you!
Post # 11
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
It depends on what you mean by “planning”. I would hardly call using pinterest and looking through bridal magazines as planning. If you’re already putting money down on vendors and venues that would be planning, in which case I would recommend waiting.
Post # 12
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
I would wait to book anything, but window shopping never hurt anybody. Inquire, gather prices, get ideas ect.
Post # 13
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
my best friend is plannig before engagement, only because the whole wedding thing came up out of nowhere and they decided on a wedding date before even being engaged… The wedding is 8 months away now so she had to get on booking venues and dress shopping despite not being engaged just yet… They picked out a ring but have to wait 8 weeks for shipping so I’m sure by then he will pop the question.
Post # 14
Member
36 posts
Newbee
*blushes* I had the tuxes booked 4 months before we got engaged… only because I won them at a bridal show… which I went to because I wanted ideas LOL… Now I have been officially engaged since December 2013, and my wedding is 9.5 months away
Post # 15
Member
5356 posts
Bee Keeper
MrsWoods47: I bought my dress in April! I will hopefully be engaged within the next month, but we already decided on a date in May 2016 before I bought my dress. I also talked to him about my reasons for buying my dress and he said it was fine and told me I would wear it eventually lol And we’ve been together for 5 years and have spent months designing my ring so we know it is coming…whenever my ring get finished!