(Closed) Is it okay to tell a vendor that a reception is a family reunion?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ethics aside, this would make me so incredibly anxious to do that it’s just not worth the money saved.  Wedding planning is stressful enough without feeling like you have to keep this big lie going!

Post # 4
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have read that just saying it’s a “party” will make it cheaper plus it’s less of a lie I suppose.  The spiffy brunch place we go to, which is also a hotel charges twice as much for a “Wedding brunch” then a party brunch.  

Post # 5
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I think it really depends on the wedding you are having. I 100% do not blame you for wanting to do this but here’s the thing… it’s gonna be REAL awkward the day of your wedding and they realize they’ve been duped. I’ve heard it said that wedding vendors charge so much because it is a high stress, high stakes day- timing is crucial, you are often dealing with a demanding bride, large amounts of people expect food at the same time, etc.

My friend did do it for her very intimate DIY wedding and saved a bunch .. but for me for example I am having a formal plated evening affair and there’s so many “wedding” things that need to be discussed with the caterer- toasts, commmunication with the DJ, centerpieces- they are essential running the whole show. … I could not fathom not telling them it was a wedding. It’d be a disaster.

Post # 6
Member
8368 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I guess it depends on what is in the contract. If it says family reunion and then you tell them it is a wedding you could be in breach of your contract and they could technically cancel your event.

Why not just call and get a quote under a party and then get smeone else to call and get a quote for the exact same inclusions for a wedding and then ask them to explain their pricing policy. But at the end of the day the vendor can charge what they like. it is up to you to accept it or look elsewhere.

Post # 8
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I actually tested this hypothesis during the early stages of the planning process. I solicited multiple quotes from the same vendors (trickery was involved, obvs), one set as a wedding, one set as a family reunion. The quotes were identical. I came to the conclusion that this bit of conventional wisdom was just an old wives’ tale.

Post # 10
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think you can get away with it for some vendors (as your title says), but not for your venue. There’s no way to hide it from them. If you’re renting tablecloths or buying some trays of cupcakes or whatever, sure, no big deal, but I don’t think misleading your venue is a good idea.

Post # 11
Member
2954 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I’d be too scared that they would find out and then use it against me some how.  

Post # 12
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you might be better off trying to find a place that traditionally does not host weddings. If they don’t primarily exist as part of the wedding racket, their prices are likely to be much more fair, wedding or no.

Post # 13
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yikes idk I read about someone who did this and almost got screwed out of having her wedding there on the day of. That seems like too much potential stress! I think if it was really small and you were just doing a dinner at a restaurant you could do this. But if you’re going for a traditional wedding with all the decor, dj, dancing, etc I wouldn’t chance it.

Post # 14
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@aliciapdx:  Is there any difference in the service or food?

If you think a vendor is ripping you off, I would call and ask for a wedding menu and prices and then ask your Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man or someone to call and ask for the menu and prices for a family reunion or regular party or something and see the difference. 

Post # 15
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@rcorral:  I think that @futuremrsk18 has a good plan. My SO owns a catering company and I know his prices are set, regardless of what type of event it is. His prices depend on what kind of meal is being served and how many people are being served (he can be more flexible on prices per person when there’s a larger party), and whether its buffet style or plated (Servers will cost more). I think charging extra for the same service just because it has the word “wedding” attached to it is ridiculous!

 

Post # 16
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@futuremrsk18:  Nope same food list and time.  Maybe decor is different? It went from $11/pp to $22.pp

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