Is it okay to text a guy first?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
4244 posts
Honey bee

Of course you can! Although if he doesn’t answer, I would take the hint. 

Post # 3
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yes. If you like him then go for it

Post # 4
7435 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Of course it’s okay for a girl to text a guy! Worst that can happen is that you don’t hear from him, right?

Post # 5
3727 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Of course you Can! I text my husband first when we first started dating. He gave me his number through Facebook and I text him the same day.


Post # 7
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016


Fear of rejection is pretty normal.  In the end–anyone who can be “scared off” by your interest isn’t worth your time.

It’s one thing if you were asking us “can I call him 10x per day and leave voice mails about my undying love for him until he calls back?” or “can I text him nude photos until he loves me” or something.. but just saying “hey, I’m thirsty–where’s my drink? :P” is fine.

He may not remember you, or may no longer want to go out.  It happens, and it’s never really clear why.  I’ve certainly never been good at figuring out who wants to date me and who doesn’t.. Some guys who I couldn’t stand (and thought it was mutual) turned out to be threateningly persistent.  Others who I thought were a really great match and super in to me ghosted me.  I know it sucks, but it’s really a lot less personal than you think–after all, this guy doesn’t really know anything about you, how could a lack of interest reflect on you?

Post # 8
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Go for it!

My husband is pretty shy and not very forward. If I hadn’t been willing to make the first move we probably wouldn’t even be together!

Post # 10
325 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, if you want to go out for a drink, ask him out for a drink. Screw rules. What do you have to lose? If he says no, you’re in no different place. If he says yes, you end up getting a drink with a guy whose company you enjoy. It’s not like you know this man and it will be awkward to run into him on a daily basis.


Post # 11
356 posts
Helper bee

I messaged my Fiance first on He passed the picture test. 😉 He’d never dated an Asian before me and never really considered it. 😂

But seriously, we broke all the rules. I texted him back immediately if I had my phone on me. I didn’t care if he thought I was “needy.” I initiated as many dates as he did. We texted right after a date every time. Let go of the rules and just do what you feel like.

Post # 12
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

There’s no rules for this. I don’t get why it’s such a big deal.

Post # 13
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Any update xx

Post # 14
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

Of course you can. 

But if he’s confident enough to ask me for my number I’d expect him to message me if he’s interested. 

When I was single I made the decision to let the early dating process weed out the guys that I wouldn’t want as a partner. I wanted a ‘doer’ so I didn’t chase and just dated the guys that followed though their words with actions. 

Post # 15
231 posts
Helper bee

I don’t want to sound like a bitch here but screw that. If a guy gets your number and hasn’t contacted you within a week… he’s not interested. Sure, you could message him. But really why would you want to persue anything with someone who doesn’t even think enough of you to take two seconds to flick you a text. If he can’t even put the effort in to do that imagine how lazy a partner he’d make. Come on, You deserve better girl. Save your time and efforts for someone who’s genuinely interested and treats you like a queen 🙂 

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