Post # 1
Say you meet a guy by chance in public. He starts a conversation with you. You end up talking for a long time, and the conversation flows really smoothly and naturally. At the end of your conversation, he says he really enjoyed your talk, asks for your number, and tells you he’d love to take you out for a drink sometime. So you exchange numbers, say bye, and he tells you he’ll contact you soon.
If some time goes by (a week or so) and you don’t hear from him, is it okay to text him? Or should you just assume he’s not actually interested and move on?
Post # 2
Of course you can! Although if he doesn’t answer, I would take the hint.
Post # 3
Yes. If you like him then go for it
Post # 4
Of course it’s okay for a girl to text a guy! Worst that can happen is that you don’t hear from him, right?
Post # 5
Of course you Can! I text my husband first when we first started dating. He gave me his number through Facebook and I text him the same day.
Post # 6
Thanks for the replies, ladies.
I know it probably seems like something so stupid and simple to do, but I guess I have a weird fear of rejection. My ex-boyfriend of several years broke up with me out of the blue one day (I later found out he had been cheating on me, but that’s another story), and I think this hang-up stems from how he treated me after that all went down.
Also there was a guy who I had been dating for a couple of months, but I didn’t know where we stood relationship-wise, so finally I just asked him, and he basically told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and didn’t really think there was a “spark” between us. So I guess I scared him off.
So now I am extremely cautious about coming off as too forward and/or desperate.
Post # 7
Fear of rejection is pretty normal. In the end–anyone who can be “scared off” by your interest isn’t worth your time.
It’s one thing if you were asking us “can I call him 10x per day and leave voice mails about my undying love for him until he calls back?” or “can I text him nude photos until he loves me” or something.. but just saying “hey, I’m thirsty–where’s my drink? :P” is fine.
He may not remember you, or may no longer want to go out. It happens, and it’s never really clear why. I’ve certainly never been good at figuring out who wants to date me and who doesn’t.. Some guys who I couldn’t stand (and thought it was mutual) turned out to be threateningly persistent. Others who I thought were a really great match and super in to me ghosted me. I know it sucks, but it’s really a lot less personal than you think–after all, this guy doesn’t really know anything about you, how could a lack of interest reflect on you?
Post # 8
Go for it!
My husband is pretty shy and not very forward. If I hadn’t been willing to make the first move we probably wouldn’t even be together!
Post # 9
So by way of an update, I did finally text him. But just stupid stuff like asking how he has been, as I feel it’s too forward to ask him out directly. And he did reply and seemed nice and all, and asked about myself too, but still, no invitation to go out for that drink.
I’m not big on sending meaningless texts back and forth (at least when it comes to guys), and I don’t want to get sucked into a text conversation without any firm plans. He probably doesn’t want that either.
But I can’t gauge if he only replied out of politeness or if he’s still interested in going out. I could ask him out for a drink myself, but in some ways, I feel like HEY, I’m the one who sent the first text, and now I have to ask him out too? He should be doing SOME of the initiating here.
On the other hand, this could drag on for a bit unless somebody brings it up, and I don’t want it to drag. I hate all these stupid unwritten rules when it comes to texting/dating.
Post # 10
Honestly, if you want to go out for a drink, ask him out for a drink. Screw rules. What do you have to lose? If he says no, you’re in no different place. If he says yes, you end up getting a drink with a guy whose company you enjoy. It’s not like you know this man and it will be awkward to run into him on a daily basis.
Post # 11
I messaged my Fiance first on Match.com. He passed the picture test. 😉 He’d never dated an Asian before me and never really considered it. 😂
But seriously, we broke all the rules. I texted him back immediately if I had my phone on me. I didn’t care if he thought I was “needy.” I initiated as many dates as he did. We texted right after a date every time. Let go of the rules and just do what you feel like.
Post # 12
There’s no rules for this. I don’t get why it’s such a big deal.
Post # 14
Of course you can.
But if he’s confident enough to ask me for my number I’d expect him to message me if he’s interested.
When I was single I made the decision to let the early dating process weed out the guys that I wouldn’t want as a partner. I wanted a ‘doer’ so I didn’t chase and just dated the guys that followed though their words with actions.
Post # 15
I don’t want to sound like a bitch here but screw that. If a guy gets your number and hasn’t contacted you within a week… he’s not interested. Sure, you could message him. But really why would you want to persue anything with someone who doesn’t even think enough of you to take two seconds to flick you a text. If he can’t even put the effort in to do that imagine how lazy a partner he’d make. Come on, You deserve better girl. Save your time and efforts for someone who’s genuinely interested and treats you like a queen 🙂