(Closed) Is it our fault?!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would be confused too. That is an aweful way for him to treat you especially since you didnt ask for it. Sorry, that totally sucks.

Post # 4
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Definitely not your fault. You have no control over what she did. She should’ve talked to her husband about it first. 

Post # 5
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@countrylove:  Here’s how I see it:

Your Future Mother-In-Law and FFIL’s money issues are between them.  At this point, i wouldn’t say a word/try to give him money again.  He is mad at HER, and I know it’s awkward now, but there’s nothing else you can do.  You didn’t ask for it.  So let them work it out, and just wait for it to blow over.

Anything else will just cause you anxiety and stress, and frankly, I wouldn’t bother.

Post # 6
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

He will get over it.

Post # 7
5957 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Their problem, not yours…whatever financial infidelity she committed by paying that installment without telling her husband is in their area and not yours….I’m sure he’s not truly upset with you, but the situation.  If your Future Father-In-Law is a Baby Boomer, the only thing she could have done that was worse than sneaking around with money was to kill his childhood pet and roast it on a spit to serve him for dinner…give them some time to get this sorted out, I assure you it has nothing to do with you.

Post # 8
1598 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This is not your fault AT ALL. It’s something between husband and wife that they should probably work out on their own.

However, if you feel like you absolutely MUST explain yourself to the husband, maybe you could text or email and just say something like: “I’m really sorry if the recent money situation has caused a problem between you and your wife, but I wanted to let you know that when she offered to help us, it was totally unexpected and we assumed you knew about it. We’re sorry if this caused any  drama or hard feelings.”

Just be honest. If you didn’t initiate the situation, it’s really not your faults at all. You can’t be responsible for someone else’s reaction. 

Post # 9
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s not your fault, I would try to ignore the tension. This is between the in-laws.

Post # 10
13071 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would be so confused.  If anything, maybe your Fiance can ask his mom why she did it, but I’d probably try to ignore it, because money issues always cause more problems!

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