Post # 1
That is what I said to my mom last week. This week, I am ready to say it to my Future Mother-In-Law.
Majority of the invite list is now family and or parents’ friends that either fiance and I don’t know, or aren’t close to. Most of my friends haven’t even made the cut in our attempts to keep it “intimate”! Our initial “dream” wedding was to have immediate family (parents and siblings) only witness our nuptials.
My question for all the bees out there who have experenced the uncontrollable / unwanted expanding guest list – how do you deal with it? Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel? Is there something positive in this that I am not seeing? I’m trying to get some persepective – at this point we have accepted the invite list as is – but I am feeling truly bitter.
We are paying all of it ourselves – 0% contribution from parents. I am not resentful about the money issue but more the fact that our ‘dream’ wedding, a super intimate ADULT wedding (25% will now be comprised of children), is getting blown out of the water due to the family obligation to invite.
Post # 3
I’d have to go with saying something to your Future Mother-In-Law as well. We kind of went through the same thing. There are people on our list that I have never even heard of. From both my mom and his mom. Its rather annoying to be honest. I dont even think I’ll know half the people at the reception… Good thing is most of the people at the ceremony will be people close to us then I think the others will show up for the reception. Which is fine b/c thats the part were getting help money wise. But if I were paying for a bunch of people I didnt know… put your foot down! ESPECIALLY because its YOUR day! Not everyone elses! Its hard but its the one time you just got to stand your ground. Set a limit of people (put it under the number you have already on purpose) and tell each parent to go through and cross out the ones that are friends but not close to the bride and groom… only extremely close friends and of course family. Or if they want to invite the whole world… tell them to hash out some money for it b/c that to me is just unfair completely!!
Post # 4
If your paying for it all yourselves then you should control the guest list. If they would like to increase the amount of people invited then they should contribute to the cost.