(Closed) Is it over???

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

yowzers

Post # 4
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@mwitter80: I was just thinking the same thing.  I’m not sure I get this post…

Is there a back story to why you feel this way?

Post # 5
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

“being realistic” is based on ones opinion and perception…. 

I guess I missed some other thread that caused this to be posted.

Post # 6
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i think there is no such thing as a “perfect person” and that “most marriages end” due to lack of communication, financial or emotional stresses and for most these things might be fixable before it becomes a big problem – you need the knowledge and tools to recognise and work on them

i think marriage is changing with ups and downs – if you choose a partner that you can trust, build a future with and be happy doesnt mean that they are the perfect person but they are a good person who you love

Post # 7
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This sounds like an indirect personal vent, maybe? Like everything you’re warning is what might have happened to you? I’m just guessing because I’m totally confused. What happened to cause this post?

Post # 8
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

I don’t disagree, but I do think many will think it harsh since they expect all happiness around here.

I think this says a lot

Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. 
And when it subsides you have to make a decision. 
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together 
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. 
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, 
it is not excitement, 
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, 
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. 
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, 
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, 
they find that they are one tree and not two.

Post # 9
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I know this is going to sound really cliche, but I believe that if you have doubts, you probably aren’t with the right person.  There isn’t a day that I feel that I am not with the right person.  I had moments where I questioned my last relationship though and that is when I realized that I wasn’t with the right person.  Once I met my Fiance, I felt differently.  I used to have huge commitment issues (marriage ones) before I met him.  He helped me trust again and made it very easy to throw my commitment issues right out the window, so it does happen.

Post # 10
Member
2575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did not have any doubts at any point.

This is the first relationship I have ever had where I haven’t though… (I am in my mid thirties, so have had a few!)

I hope you are ok, as I find the tone of your post a little disconcerting… 

Post # 11
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Let me put it this way…. I am with the right person for ME.

Post # 12
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

lol this post is still cracking me up by how its phrased.

 

I wish OP would come back and explain if this is directed to everyone/anyone as a general warning, if they are just expressing their experiences within relationships, or if they are don’t understand the meaning of “perfect” when someone talks about their mate? Being realistic is not generalizing every person into one category as you personally believe it to be. If being realistic is the case here then we need to break down why we pair up in the first place and how its progressed with our evolution as humans. That’s real.

When someone says their mate is “perfect” I would hope its understood by OP that no one really thinks this is true.  People do not believe any one person is perfect. It just means the majority of interests, personalities, etc are compatible. I could go on and on but meh…why bother at this point….

 

 

Post # 13
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@lefeymw: Love the poem!

Agree with all the PPs. Not sure where this post came from, unless it is in response to those who post asking for advice about whether their relationship is ‘over’ or not.

While it may not be the case for every single person who is engaged or married right now, I think the large majority of us realize what real love is and what a marriage means. We continue to learn every day, but we know that marriage is commitment and not easy all the time. It takes sacrifice, communication, putting the other person’s needs above your own sometimes, dealing with families and in-laws, rising above drama, letting down all your walls, and allowing yourself to need another person. Yes. It’s hard. But it’s also one of life’s greatest blessings (or God’s, if you’re a believer) And I can’t imagine not believing in marriage or believing that I’m not marrying the right person.

Post # 14
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds to me like OP was just writing like how she would in her diary…without realizing that everyone is going to read it. And I doubt she really meant anything to anyone else, to me it sounded more like she was thinking through her own personal issues.

Post # 15
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not laughing behind your backs if you say your Fiance is perfect!  Because like Sasha said, they’re perfect for YOU! I do agree with part of this post though.  I do think there are circumstances where people jump in to relationships and ignore red flags.  That’s why I worry sometimes when I read posts that are about “WHEN IS HE GOING TO POP THE QUESTION!?”  Are you more excited for the ring or for the marriage?

BUT I can assure you, I did all of the “looking” and “analyzing” BEFORE I said yes…

Post # 16
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Im sorry if something horrible happened to make you feel this way. And I agree that this is the case for some relationships, but not all.. Alot of ladies are smart and really think about their life decisions before jumping in with both feet.

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