Post # 1
Hello Bees. There is always going to be a day that you think you are making the wrong decision. You feel like there will be no happy ending. YOu want to live happily ever after, but does it really exist? For many women they will never find out. There are some women that will always feel that there is something else out there. Are we settling? How do we know? Cause no matter how happy you are, there is always a slight doubt. And if you were like me, scared to get married, but want to get married. But who is the right one? Is it the guy that I spent 5 years with, or is it the guy that I cannot find? Is there a perfect guy out there? Does anyone have the answer for that? You might say that your guy is perfect… and we laugh at you behind your back, because you are nieve. Noone is perfect.
I am not trying to be mean, but being realalistic. I know brides are suppose to be happy, but to many people jump into marrage, cause they are so excited, that the dont realize (until its too late) that the person that you are going to marry is not your perfect person. And that is why the most marriages end. Please bee’s, through all your happiness, take a step back and look at your life, and analyze it. Are you with someone that not only you want to be old with, but someone you can trust with money, kids, resposibility, fidelity, do the families get along, do you ahev too much in common and you start clashing. But just the little things. The biggest things are, are you sexually satisfied. It dont change, so you better be, Bad sex will lead to cheating, and another big thing is can you live with there past? Someones past is something that was there before you, but yet you have to live with it. Can you?
Ok, I am done, Being a bride is a great thing, but make sure you think about it first. Set your excitment aside, and evaluate your relationship. It is easier to getting in than getting out.
Love All of You!!
Post # 4
I was just thinking the same thing. I’m not sure I get this post…
Is there a back story to why you feel this way?
Post # 5
“being realistic” is based on ones opinion and perception….
I guess I missed some other thread that caused this to be posted.
Post # 6
i think there is no such thing as a “perfect person” and that “most marriages end” due to lack of communication, financial or emotional stresses and for most these things might be fixable before it becomes a big problem – you need the knowledge and tools to recognise and work on them
i think marriage is changing with ups and downs – if you choose a partner that you can trust, build a future with and be happy doesnt mean that they are the perfect person but they are a good person who you love
Post # 7
This sounds like an indirect personal vent, maybe? Like everything you’re warning is what might have happened to you? I’m just guessing because I’m totally confused. What happened to cause this post?
Post # 8
I don’t disagree, but I do think many will think it harsh since they expect all happiness around here.
I think this says a lot
Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
Post # 9
I know this is going to sound really cliche, but I believe that if you have doubts, you probably aren’t with the right person. There isn’t a day that I feel that I am not with the right person. I had moments where I questioned my last relationship though and that is when I realized that I wasn’t with the right person. Once I met my Fiance, I felt differently. I used to have huge commitment issues (marriage ones) before I met him. He helped me trust again and made it very easy to throw my commitment issues right out the window, so it does happen.
Post # 10
I did not have any doubts at any point.
This is the first relationship I have ever had where I haven’t though… (I am in my mid thirties, so have had a few!)
I hope you are ok, as I find the tone of your post a little disconcerting…
Post # 11
Let me put it this way…. I am with the right person for ME.
Post # 12
lol this post is still cracking me up by how its phrased.
I wish OP would come back and explain if this is directed to everyone/anyone as a general warning, if they are just expressing their experiences within relationships, or if they are don’t understand the meaning of “perfect” when someone talks about their mate? Being realistic is not generalizing every person into one category as you personally believe it to be. If being realistic is the case here then we need to break down why we pair up in the first place and how its progressed with our evolution as humans. That’s real.
When someone says their mate is “perfect” I would hope its understood by OP that no one really thinks this is true. People do not believe any one person is perfect. It just means the majority of interests, personalities, etc are compatible. I could go on and on but meh…why bother at this point….
Post # 13
Love the poem!
Agree with all the PPs. Not sure where this post came from, unless it is in response to those who post asking for advice about whether their relationship is ‘over’ or not.
While it may not be the case for every single person who is engaged or married right now, I think the large majority of us realize what real love is and what a marriage means. We continue to learn every day, but we know that marriage is commitment and not easy all the time. It takes sacrifice, communication, putting the other person’s needs above your own sometimes, dealing with families and in-laws, rising above drama, letting down all your walls, and allowing yourself to need another person. Yes. It’s hard. But it’s also one of life’s greatest blessings (or God’s, if you’re a believer) And I can’t imagine not believing in marriage or believing that I’m not marrying the right person.
Post # 14
It sounds to me like OP was just writing like how she would in her diary…without realizing that everyone is going to read it. And I doubt she really meant anything to anyone else, to me it sounded more like she was thinking through her own personal issues.
Post # 15
I’m not laughing behind your backs if you say your Fiance is perfect! Because like Sasha said, they’re perfect for YOU! I do agree with part of this post though. I do think there are circumstances where people jump in to relationships and ignore red flags. That’s why I worry sometimes when I read posts that are about “WHEN IS HE GOING TO POP THE QUESTION!?” Are you more excited for the ring or for the marriage?
BUT I can assure you, I did all of the “looking” and “analyzing” BEFORE I said yes…
Post # 16
Im sorry if something horrible happened to make you feel this way. And I agree that this is the case for some relationships, but not all.. Alot of ladies are smart and really think about their life decisions before jumping in with both feet.