(Closed) Is it over???

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

uh… WTF??? 

I know I’m fueling the flames here, but…. 

a) Who in the hell is perfect?

b) If you gotta ask, then it probably is (except for the totally clueless ones who still think the guy/gal is gonna come back to you even when they’ve said they 1)don’t love you, 2)move out 3) file for divorce)

c) If you’ve made it to the engagement part of life, I don’t think ANYONE is gonna be able to talk a woman out of it.  Just ain’t gonna happen for the vast majority of the population.

Also, after being through hell and back again (complete with a divorce), I’m pretty damned sure I’ve chosen the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  

For some, it’s an easy choice, for others, they go through several wives before finding their mate.  Others never do.

Making generalizations on a public forum for engaged/waiting women isn’t the brightest or best idea.  Not only is it wrong when there’s NOTHING to back up what you’ve said, but you’re gonna end up getting some harsh feedback and tons of arguments (unless that’s what you’re aiming for…).

Post # 17
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I hope that nothing major has happened in your relationship to make you feel this way.

I will disagree with pretty much all of your generalizations. I know my Fiance is the very best for me or I wouldn’t have said yes and in my eyes he is as perfect as any one person would be able to be for me. I will not get anymore defensive at this as I don’t feel you intended this to be at anyone really but maybe it is you that needed to take a step back and you were “warning” us maybe.

I do hope all is well for you.

Post # 18
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

View original reply
@lefeymw: This totally made me tear up.

“Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two”

God, It’s not like I am PMS-ing either!

Post # 19
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@lefeymw: What a wonderful poem that expresses love so beautifully!

 

Edit: Ok I’m super confused…what does the title of the post have to do with the post itself?

Post # 20
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

The title of the post and the content of the post are contradictory, so this is very confusing! I’m also wondering if the OP maybe just dealt with these issues recently and wants to spread hope about the situation.

As for laughing at people who think their s.o.’s are perfect, I agree with the PPs who say that perfect is relative. When people say their s.o. is perfect, they don’t literally mean perfect (for most people, anyway). They mean that their s.o. is perfect for THEM, and that they are compatible, love each other, and have a great relationship. My s.o. is perfect for me, but he is far from perfect; I’m far from perfect myself. We have our issues and struggles, but we work through them together. And that’s the way I like it.

Post # 21
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@lefeymw: love the Saint Augustine quote! We are having his father read it. We have to take out the “your mother and I had it” part though.

Post # 22
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I love when posts like this come up, and the OP completely disappears!

For me, I know I married the right person. See my posting history and you’ll see the thread I started about knowing you married the right man. He is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. And no, he is not perfect, and neither am I. But we have the sense to realize that and accept not only the good stuff about each other, but the hideous, bad stuff as well. And he still loves me after seeing that, and I still love him. I don’t think there will be anything that can change that.

View original reply
@lefeymw: Love this!

Post # 24
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@tjudd23: Yeah! Im glad you came back to explain your post a bit!! 🙂

Post # 25
Member
4886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

lolwut.

 

For real though, I hope no one is marrying a person they *think* is The One.  Thinking they’re the one is just a stage in the process to realize they ARE the one.

Post # 26
Member
7582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think that this post has some merit. I do think that there are some woman who get lost in the wedding and sometimes “think” that they are marrying the right person instead of knowing.  I just think that the way you worded it and threw it out there with no real explanation and being a “newer” bee, it just came accross like a crazy lecture out of no where, from an unknown source.

Post # 27
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

ok. I am sorry if I offended any of you. I was just making a point that you should be really sure that you are marrying the person that is right for you. I was not pointing fingers and I was not venting through my own problems. I was reading some post and starting to think of what is mostly important to people when it comes to marriage. And yes, the post was all over the place, but I had a lot to say and didn’t know how to say it.

p.s. I did not disappear. I went to work.

Love,

Me

 

Ok, I see what you were meaning now, and I can see why you posted what you did. But at the same time, everyone on here that posts about their SO, Fiance, DH, etc. do so in the way that their relationships are, if that makes sense. If a bee wants to say that she is absolutely excited that shes getting married after only knowing her man for a month, then let her have that excitement. Whatever happens to that person in the future in her marriage, is something that she has to deal with, if something bad were to happen. Thats not to say that a short engagement will lead to a short marriage either, my mom was only engaged to my father 2 weeks, then they were married 34 years until he passed away. Just my word of thought, but I do see what you mean, and can agree. And I too sometimes dont know how to word what I want to say, so totally understandable.

Post # 28
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I don’t have even a shadow of a doubt that I want to marry my Fiance.

but I do agree with the OP. I’ve read so many posts on WB where the girl was wondering if she should leave her Fiance and describe an epically bad relationship, and then she’ll try to justify all the bad behavior, jealousy, doubt, etc. I want to be like “NO NO NO! don’t marry him!!!!” but what can you do? it’s not my business.

Post # 29
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

When I was 29 I was engaged to a man and yes… it was likely more excitement about the ring, the wedding, the potential family, “being married”…… and that I COULD trust this guy. He’d NEVER cheat on me!

 

Well. He did. He cheated. BUT it was the best thing that happened to me because through our engagement I always thought “really? Am I sure?” and wondered if I was missing out on the right one.

 

Had I married him I would have. I have ZERO doubts about my fiance now. Our life together is more difficult than the one with my ex (he lived 5 minutes from my family… Fiance lives 45 min minimum. Ex worked same schedule as me.. Fiance works an INSANE schedule that changes every single week… )

 

Every single time I think about spending the rest of my life with my fiance, my heart flutters and I can’t help but smile.

 

I’m so glad to have gone through the crud with the ex to realize how SURE I am about my Fiance… it’s a feeling I’ve never had before:)

 

I see what OP is saying. I’ve read posts about “he proposed wrong” or “I still like this other guy” or “should i leave??”…. and I”m like OMG that was me 6 years ago!!!

Post # 30
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

View original reply
@tjudd23:  Ok, that is a relief. lol!  I wasn’t insulted, I was just a little worried.  I like to help if I feel that someone is thinking things like that about marriage or being married because of what I have been through.  I am happy to say that I have made sure that my guy is the one I want to be with and if I wasn’t sure, it wouldn’t happen.

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