Post # 77
Before he actually asks her to take it down, I think you should make sure (have him make sure?) that the picture doesn’t mean anything to your FSILs. Maybe it was just taken at a really happy time and they like those memories more than the memories of her.
Post # 78
Fiance asked her to take it down, in front of me the next time we went over. He said he didn’t like looking at his ex’s face everytime he came over. His mum said she had expected him to present her with a nice photo to be able to replace it with by now, with me and his sisters in it lol. She was quite mad in fact that he hadn’t done it yet. In hindsight, I think I was making it into a bigger issue than it was, it just seemed like it was something so obvious, but her response was not something I expected, and made the whole situation funny to me haha. It’s still there, but I’m guessing she is just going to wait until our wedding now and get a nice photo of all of us, as it would seem a little pointless getting professional photos done so close to a wedding.
Thanks for everyones input though!
Post # 79
I’m sorry, I don’t consider myself overly sensitive, but would find that to be a ridiculous and disrespectful response to a reasonable request. Or it’s possible she was kidding and it will be gone by next time.
Post # 80
thanks for the update! I posted a while back of a similar situation involving a picture of my SO’s ex at his parents house. I mentioned it to my SO, and he said he would ask his mom to take it down, because he didn’t want it up either and if he had noticed it, he would have asked her to do it then. I haven’t been over there since seeing the picture, but I hope it goes as smoothly as your situation did! Happy to hear everything worked out 🙂
Post # 81
Ah I’ve been with Fiance nearly ten years, got engaged nearly a year ago, lived together 9 years. No pics of me in the in laws’ house!!! I think it’s funny they expect us to put up pictures of them though. I did anyway, ’cause I’m nice. 🙂
There’s no pics of Fiance with exes at his parents’ place either! If there was, I’d be so mad!!!! It is disrespectful.
Post # 82
nessdawwg: Her response was kind of ridiculous if you ask me. It is her house, not yours! And she gets to decorate it with whatever she wishes. I agree that it makes the whole situation a bit humorous.
Don’t feel petty over this. Yes, the actual thing itself is a minor detail, but it is one of those subtle things that kind of “throbs” over time in annoyance.
I don’t think that there is a single photo of me in my fiancé’s parent’s home, but tons and tons with his ex wife. In fairness she was with my fiancé for over 10 years and she is the mother of their only grandchild, but in my opinion it wouldn’t hurt if there were some of me sprinkled in there.
Post # 83
Naturally, circumstances alter cases and everyone’s different.. That said, I would be upset to see a picture of FI’s ex hanging at his parent’s house. It’s inconsiderate and I know my Fiance would be uncomfortable with a picture of his ex in sight anywhere in his parent’s home. I come from a big family, people have had multiple relationships, gotten divorces, the things that happen in life. My Mom also takes a TON of pictures, but you would be hard pressed to find pictures hanging/sitting out that still feature anyone’s ex.. Even if they had children together, then they have pictures of their children, not the ex. I think my Mom is showing respect to her children and their families. I also think it’s natural for anyone to feel a little uncomfortable when someone’s ex is hanging in the IL’s home. I would not want my parent’s to have a picture anywhere of an ex and me and my Fiance feels the same way. To each their own, but personally, I see no reason for there to be a photo hanging somewhere with an ex in it.