(Closed) Is it petty of me to ask FI to ask his mum to take down his ex fiances pictures?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: What is the best option

    Ignore the photo until his mum takes it down in her own time

    Request FI to tell his mum to take the photo down

    Get a picture of me and his sisters (we are all friends) to replace it

    Pull her aside myself and ask if she could take it down

    Wait until we are married (winter 2015) and if it still hasn't been taken down, deal with it then

    Get over it princess, it's not your house she can have whatever she likes on the wall

  • Post # 77
    522 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Before he actually asks her to take it down, I think you should make sure (have him make sure?) that the picture doesn’t mean anything to your FSILs. Maybe it was just taken at a really happy time and they like those memories more than the memories of her.

    Post # 78
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    View original reply
    @nessdawwg:  Any update OP?

    Post # 79
    14009 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    View original reply
    nessdawwg: I’m sorry, I don’t consider myself overly sensitive, but would find that to be a ridiculous and disrespectful response to a reasonable request. Or it’s possible she was kidding and it will be gone by next time. 

    Post # 80
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    nessdawwg:  thanks for the update! I posted a while back of a similar situation involving a picture of my SO’s ex at his parents house. I mentioned it to my SO, and he said he would ask his mom to take it down, because he didn’t want it up either and if he had noticed it, he would have asked her to do it then. I haven’t been over there since seeing the picture, but I hope it goes as smoothly as your situation did! Happy to hear everything worked out 🙂

    Post # 81
    698 posts
    Busy bee

    Ah I’ve been with Fiance nearly ten years, got engaged nearly a year ago, lived together 9 years. No pics of me in the in laws’ house!!! I think it’s funny they expect us to put up pictures of them though. I did anyway, ’cause I’m nice. 🙂

    There’s no pics of Fiance with exes at his parents’ place either! If there was, I’d be so mad!!!! It is disrespectful. 

    Post # 82
    815 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015


    nessdawwg:  Her response was kind of ridiculous if you ask me. It is her house, not yours! And she gets to decorate it with whatever she wishes.  I agree that it makes the whole situation a bit humorous.

    Don’t feel petty over this. Yes, the actual thing itself is a minor detail,  but it is one of those subtle things that kind of “throbs” over time in annoyance.

    I don’t think that there is a single photo of me in my fiancé’s parent’s home, but tons and tons with his ex wife. In fairness she was with my fiancé for over 10 years and she is the mother of their only grandchild, but in my opinion it wouldn’t hurt if there were some of me sprinkled in there.

    Post # 83
    7 posts

    Naturally, circumstances alter cases and everyone’s different..  That said, I would be upset to see a picture of FI’s ex hanging at his parent’s house.  It’s inconsiderate and I know my Fiance would be uncomfortable with a picture of his ex in sight anywhere in his parent’s home.  I come from a big family, people have had multiple relationships, gotten divorces, the things that happen in life.  My Mom also takes a TON of pictures, but you would be hard pressed to find pictures hanging/sitting out that still feature anyone’s ex.. Even if they had children together, then they have pictures of their children, not the ex.  I think my Mom is showing respect to her children and their families.  I also think it’s natural for anyone to feel a little uncomfortable when someone’s ex is hanging in the IL’s home.  I would not want my parent’s to have a picture anywhere of an ex and me and my Fiance feels the same way.   To each their own, but personally, I see no reason for there to be a photo hanging somewhere with an ex in it. 

    The topic ‘Is it petty of me to ask FI to ask his mum to take down his ex fiances pictures?’ is closed to new replies.

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