Post # 1
My Fiance and I will be moving out of state shortly after we get married. Therefore we are having a courthouse wedding with no reception due to money restraints.
Would it be tacky or in poor taste to send out marriage announcements to extended family members after we’re married?
The announcements would just say that we are married, when we got married and what our new address is.
I don’t want it to look like we’re gift grabbing. The announcements would simply be to let extended family know we’re married and where we’re living, NO expectation of gifts at all. There would be NO mention of gifts or registries on the annoucements.
I’ve read in a few other places that this is poor etiquette and can come across as looking like a solicitaion for gifts – I don’t want to offend anyone by sending the accouncements and I also don’t want to offend people by not acknowledging to them that we are married but had a very small, private courthouse wedding due to money restraints and therefore were unable to invite everyone.
Post # 3
@nihilist: I thought that sending out wedding announcements after the wedding was the proper thing to do to notify those that you couldn’t invite to the wedding. I think I may do that for the goo-gobs of neighbors that we just cannot include on the invite list. My FH’s mother wants to send them out before the wedding. Like “notices” to people who aren’t invited, but who she wants to announce the engagement to. But isn’t that what newspaper engagement announcements are for? So I’m trying to steer her away from this. Either newspaper Eannouncements or a casual open house reception after the wedding. Thoughts?
Post # 4
I’ve never heard that sending announcements is in poor taste; I always thought it was a very traditional thing to do.
This is directly from the Emily Post website:
Printed or handwritten announcements are sent to those left off of the guest list, or to acquaintances or business associates who might wish to hear the news. Announcements carry no obligation to return a gift, and they are never sent to anyone who has received an invitation. Ideally, they should be mailed the day after the wedding but may be sent up to several months later. The traditional wording is in the name of the bride’s parents:
Mr. and Mrs. James Welch
have the honor of
announcing the marriage of their daughter
to Mr. Jonathan Jamison
Saturday, the twelfth of June
two thousand and one
Post # 5
Aww… I think its cute! I say do it and I wouldn’t think you are gift grabbing. If people think that then f* them.
Post # 6
Traditionally, your first announcement goes in your hometown paper, and then after the wedding you send announcements to those that weren’t invited, but you would still like them to know that you got married.
Post # 7
Honestly the wedding world (or maybe etiquette) can make just about anything you do seem gift grabby. I’d send out the announcements and share your happy news!
Post # 8
I think they are very appropriate to send. Anyone who tells you they are gift grabber are mistaken.
Post # 9
Thank you ladies for your input!
My Fiance and I will continue on as we planned and send annoucements after the wedding once we know our new address.
Post # 10
I have a few wedding checklists from online wedding planning websites that I used and all of them mentioned sending out our announcements. We never did because we had the luxury of being able to invite everyone (although not all of them came, of course).
Post # 11
I think it is actually very good etiquette to send out announcements. How else are all your friends and family supposed to know that, when it comes time to send out the next round of invitations for whatever, that they are going to have to include your husband? Or know how to spell his name?
If there are a few of them who don’t already know that they are not obliged to give gifts, they can always open an etiquette manual or write in to Emily Post themselves, and find out.
Incidentally, it is also a good idea to send “at Home” cards with the announcements, and to send at Home cards also to the people who were invited (or provide them at the reception), to let people know what name you will be going by after the wedding. People need a little bit of information in order to allow etiquette to work.