(Closed) Is it poor taste for me to plan my own bachelorette?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think that sounds like such a nice night! And it looks as if everyone is on board. There is no reason why you shouldn’t have a night you want because your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t want to plan. It would be different if you organized a night at the bars with male strippers and bought your own “bride to be” t-shirt… but you’re not, you’re asking for an intimate night with your friends! It sounds perfect!

Post # 4
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

To answer your question, yes. If my BMs or Maid/Matron of Honor wouldn’t of planned my bachelorette party, I def would of planned one myself. We shouldn’t have to suffer b/c someone else dropped the ball!

I think you feel weird about it, only b/c traditionally brides arn’t the ones planning it. But, hey, its a party & with you planning you can get excatly what you want.

I can see why your a little bummed. Hopefully your Maid/Matron of Honor or other BMs coming in, will realize that they need to do a little something for you that wknd.

Post # 5
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think that you should plan your own bachelorette party.  They are not a requirement prior to a wedding and you shouldn’t expect you bridal party to plan one.  It’s just a nice thing when they do.  And its one thing to give input and opinions on your party if your maids asked and a whole other thing to plan the entire thing yourself.

I agree with Lauren1018 that what you’ve planned sounds nice but I wouldn’t make it a bachelorette party, just a girls weekend (ie, don’t go buy yourself bride-to-be gear, boa, etc).

Post # 6
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I planned my bachelorette. I wanted to go do bingo and then karoeke with my mom, sister, aunts, cousins, and bridesmaids. I am excited! Though I think my sister is buying me some bride to be stuff.

Post # 7
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The reason you’re not supposed to plan your own shower is because you’d be telling people to give you gifts. So unless you’ve told everyone on the invite list that you expect them to bring you presents, then the situation is completely different. I think it sounds really cool and this way you know you’ll enjoy it.

Post # 8
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t see anything wrong with planning your own bachelorette party.  For mine I called around different limo places to get quotes and my Maid/Matron of Honor took care of making reservations at the restaurant.  I also made fascinators for all my girls to wear.  My BMs offered to help me but many cannot sew and I didn’t mind sewing all of them.

Post # 9
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I planned mine!  I wanted to have a lot of say in what we did (or didn’t) do.  Only one of my bridesmaids was from in-town, and she planned a fabulous surprise bridal shower for me, so I didn’t want to expect her to do anything else.

We just went out for tapas and drinks at a nice place.  We chatted and laughed and I had a great time.  It was really chill. 

It’s not poor taste.  Sometimes it’s necessity.

Post # 10
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure what official etiquette is on this, but sounds fine to me. It’s not like a shower, where you’re getting gifts and planning yourself might be taken the wrong way by some. I would just frame it as a girls’ getaway vs. a bachelorette.

Post # 11
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s fine. Why should you have to go without a bachelorette cause your Maid/Matron of Honor dropped the ball? And call it whatever the hell you want. There’s no etiquette when it comes to this. How can there be etiquette for any party that can sometimes involve copious amounts of penis. I mean, really. People take etiquette way too seriously sometimes. If your girls are down, go ahead and plan all your stuff and have a great time.

Post # 12
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

One of my friends and I are getting married within a month of each other and were combinding ours and planning them together.

I dont think there is anything wrong with planning one urself! You are still the bride and deserve to get one

Post # 13
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I understand your position and I would definitely be bummed out if no one seemed to be thinking of planning a bachelorette party for me. But there’s totally no reason that you shouldn’t get to have one because of that. The whole point is to get to spend some fun times with your girlfriends and I don’t see why you can’t be the one to make that happen! It’s not like a shower where people are supposed to be bringing you gifts. Have fun!

Post # 14
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If my wedding party was not throwing me a bachelorette party, then yes, I would totally plan my own.  And think about this, since you are planning it, you get to do exactly what YOU want!  

Post # 15
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

None of my BMs planned anything for me (which actually surprised me since I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my  bff/MOH less thana  yr ago and planned an entire shower AND b-party for her.  FI’s aunt did my shower, so I really kinda thought throwing together a night out was within their ability.  Apparently not…but I digress!!), so while we were all in town for my shower, I asked if they wanted to do something.  We ended up just hanging out at my friend’s house and I fell asleep before 10pm (had been traveling since 4am), so it wasn’t they typical “ngiht on the town” but I did pull it together last minute on my own.  I don’t think it’s weird at all.  I can understand why you feel a touch disappointed but you should def enjoy yourself!!

Post # 16
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I think there is only one issue with planning your own – I don’t think it’s right to ask the girls to cover you – it’s just not cool to ask for money for yourself.  (Nothing you’ve said means you’re going to do this! But typically a bachelorette is paid for by the bridesmaids).  So if you are planning it, I’d pay for your own half just as you would at any girls night out. 

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