Post # 1
To be lovey dovey all the time?????
Fiance says he wants to be “fine” before we get married and says we have been “fighting” every week. I do not qualify our “disagreements” as fights and I also think it is not possible to be all lovey dovey all the time!
Our disagreements are most of the time started by stupid stuff (like taking the garbage out) and scalate to us not talking for days (we are both sttuborn!).
What do you think?
Post # 3
Why would you want to be lovey dovey all the time? That sounds awful!!! I think right before weddings people get stressed out and so have more fights than normal, though. What are you fighting about? Can you both try to react differently when you get upset?
Post # 4
It depends on couples and what you mean by lovey dovey. I do think your fi is communicate a need he has. I think you guys need to talk about it and maybe meet in the middle.
Post # 5
Not all the time, no way.
Post # 6
There’s a difference between not being “lovey dovey” all the time and not speaking to each other for days!! Everyone’s different, but I would not feel ready to marry someone if that happened with any regularity.
Post # 7
No couple is lovey dovey ALL the time…..
Post # 8
Not talking for several days over fights that started about small things like taking the trash out seems worrisome. Especially since it sounds like you live together so you would have to be very actively ignoring each other to accomplish this.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I don’t think you can be “lovey dovey” all the time– but constant bickering isn’t good either. Fiance and I certainly aren’t constantly wanting to hold hands and kiss, and make googly eyes at eachother all night long, but we also very rarely have disagreements or bickering; and we almost never have real fights (3 in 5 1/2 years, all of which were resolved within 24 hours).
Post # 10
I dont think any couple gets along perfectly 100% of the time..but maybe you two need couples counseling or something to find better ways of dealing with disagreements because not speaking for two days because of an argument as trivial as taking the garbage out is pretty childish and you need to figure out a better way of dealing with things.
Post # 11
All the time? No way. I couldn’t deal with that, but bickering, especially over small things, and not talking about it for days doesn’t seem like a good thing either.
Post # 12
Like PP said, I think there is a middle ground. Some days we’re more lovey-dovey than others, but in general we just get along great–not over-the-top gooey affectionate, not ripping each other’s heads off. Maybe that’s what your Fiance means by “fine”? Keep in mind, too, even if you’re not having huge fights, sometimes that undercurrent of tension or constant little things can be really stressful.
Post # 13
I agree with some of the PPs. I don’t think that not arguing = lovey dovey. I do think it is good not to fight a lot, but I don’t think it is even close to necessary to always be lovey dovey. I’m certainly not with my SO. Try not to think of it as an either/or situation.
Post # 14
I don’t think it’s necessary to be lovey dovey all the time, but I do think it’s important to learn to communicate effectlively without bickering over little things. Sure, every couple bickers, but when it’s all the time and escalates to not talking for a few days, then I think you should both learn to communicate better.
Fiance and I used to bicker all the time and our arguments would always be about something simple, but they’d escalate into yelling. We went through couples counseling, learned the real reason we bickered and learned how to speak to each other without belittling or judging each other (this was the reason we always fought). It’s been almost a year and we very rarely argue anymore, especially not over things like trash.
Post # 15
I don’t think being lovey dovey has anything to oi with the bigger picture here. If you guys are fighting about taking the garbage out, and then not speaking for days, that is a big red fag that there are pretty drastic communication problems going on, that definitely needs to be worked on.