(Closed) Is it REALLY different when it’s your own child?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It really is different when it is your own. I was never one for babies or little kids – and guess what – I am still not lol. I love my son more than anything and I love spending loads of time with him – still not a fan of other little babies though. I still dont want to hold other peoples new babies. Its different with your own becasue there is a bond.

Post # 18
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have any and don’t want any so I hope its okay if I post here, lol!  This is interesting to me, too 🙂  But I do have to say, I wish that the folks that remember what it was like to be irritated by someone letting their child scream in a restaurant mabye WOULDN’T find it so cute or ‘okay now’ that they are the parent, lol!  My sister makes sure she consciously reminds herself of how annoying it is when that happens and removes my adorable (but loud :P) Godson from wherever he is screaming.  It’s okay to sympathise now that’s its you, but please, try to retain some of the non- emotionally invested feelings and LEAVE when Junior won’t settle down!

That and drool = gross for me, too!  My Mom always says it’s different when its yours but I don’t care – if it drools, give it back!  My sis is 41 and just had her first and only and still says she thinks drool is gross.  She refuses to mop it up with her fingers – she always has a towel at the ready, lol!

Thanks – Public Service Announcement over 🙂

Post # 19
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It’s very different. Before she was born, I was the type of person that hearing a baby cry or kids running around would drive me insane and I would try to get away as fast as possible. I still have these moments with the children of stangers, but not my girl. When she cries I want to fix it and make it better, when she runs I want to tell her to be careful and then chase her down and tickle her. She looks just like Fiance and I love her to death. When she says I love you to the stars and back or that we’re best friends, my hearts melts.

I would never try to talk someone into having children, but I will definitely say it’s different for me.

Post # 20
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My fiance and I are completely different..we love kids..we adore all of them and enjoy surrounding ourselves with their cuteness..we take our friends’ kids to disneyland and chase after them so I’m fearing that we won’t love ours because somehow we’re cursed or something.  Babies tend to look at us and smiled and we’d play peek-a-boo with them complete strangers. 

Post # 21
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m hoping this is the case.  I have very little interest in kids in general, and get bored of them really quickly.  I’m hoping I’ll be more into it, once it’s my own kid, and realize that me playing with them for more than 5 minutes is essential to their well being and development.

And oh my god… drool.  I can’t handle it.  My cousin kisses her drooly baby on the mouth when he’s eaten recently and it freaks me out every time.  I would be so grossed out if I ever got a little chunk of half eaten pablum in my mouth. 

I hear this may be the least of my worries though…

Post # 22
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly, I think it will be better when it is your own kid, but I still think it will be a pain in the butt.  Sorry, that sounds awful.  What I mean to say is; I think it is depressing to be trapped home with a young child you cannot really relate to- granted- I have not had my own kids yet- so I am hoping it will be different once I do/ if I do- and I am sure it will be because you will care more about them (naturally) -but still- in my experience (watching other people’s children and hanging out with people that have young ones)- the parents aren’t that thrilled to be trapped home with the kids all the time.  I don’t want to be a downer, just want to be realistic, but I do hope it is at least better when it is your own.

One time I was at a wedding and this lady was thinking of having children (this was when I was 22, so I was just listening- far from married), and I remember hearing her say to the other women who had kids running around, “someone tell me SOMEthing positive about motherhood!”  “Just say one positive thing about motherhood!”  …

Post # 23
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i NEVER wanted kids.  I loved kids, my nieces were my life, but never wanted my own.  ow and behold, a whoops and there was my son.  I never had another child, but I can say, as much as I love my nieces and nephews, there’s no feelng like that of when you first hold your own baby.  Its amazing how you can love someoe sooo much!  Its very different, and in a good way!

Post # 24
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, it really depends on the person. Only you can decided if it will be different, and if you are ready. I know this one lady, who actually passed away a week ago, sadly, who had three children, but abandoned them at a very young age, because she didn’t have the motherly instinct. She loves children, but couldn’t bare to mother her own. Now that is an example of it NOT being different if they are your own. On the other hand, I have never in my whole life experienced the type of love I have for my son. There is nothing comparable to him. Not my boyfriend, not my own mother, not money, not myself. He is the absolute greatest joy and love in my life. However, I happen to have the motherly instinct, and I happen to always love children. I couldn’t see why a person wouldn’t really, they are innocent, and funny, and full of optimism, life, and energy. So to answer your question, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. If you are good with kids, you’ll probably be a good mom.

Post # 25
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cbee:

I don’t think I have EVER in my whole time being a mother felt depressed or lonely. In fact I think it is the only time that I have never for a day ever felt depressed or lonely since he has been born. Also I don;t feel trapped at home because I have a family, but rather fulfilled. I can list a whole wack of reasons why motherhood is ideal, but I would much rather you experience that for yourself one day!

Post # 26
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

YES. Even after having my own baby, I’ve still not warmed up to play dates and Mommy groups because, pretty much, I just don’t like other kids. I was even thinking about this yesterday, whether I’d be happy to babysit my friends’ babies when my daughter is grown and out of the baby stage, and although I’d do it if they needed a favor, I wouldn’t really volunteer to do it or love it. I just don’t care that much for kids and babies, though obviously I do like my own daughter.

That said, since I’m not naturally a “kid” person, I think I tend to have a shorter fuse than those women who are. I can handle whining for about 12 seconds and then I’ve had enough, and every time my daughter passes another milestone that takes her out of babyhood I think, “At least I’ll only have to do that once,” since we aren’t having any more.

Post # 27
Member
7882 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes it is different.  I am a totally sympathy-puker.  But I can clean up my daughter’s throw up no-problem.  Just one super-gross example.

Post # 28
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

You know the scene in “Baby Mama” where she goes “Is that chocolate or poop?”  and then tastes it?  Yeah, THAT is what it’s like when it’s your kid.  The poop isn’t gross.  Neither is the spit up or the drool (different things).  Their cries elicit sympathy instead of annoyance.  It’s…just…a mommy thing.

I still find other kids’ bodily fluids GROSS.  But not DD’s.  Can’t explain that.  Except maybe that is evolutionary biology.  Because how long would the human race have lasted if you were grossed out by your own kid?

@luckyprincess: I don’t think I’d ever give someone a dirty look if their kid was crying anymore.  Sometimes it’s like trying to make the rain stop.  You just can’t control it.  Also, while I would reconsider taking the baby to a quiet, high-end restaurant, it’s no holds barred at a family restaurant like IHOP or Applebees.  That’s why they label themselves “family” restaurants.

Post # 29
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

yes, it’s even different when it’s just family for me. I’ve always liked kids and babies but after holding a baby for awhile or babysitting, I’d be like “ok, I’m done”. But now, I’ve noticed since my niece was born just how in love with her I am. I could hold her for hours and hours and it’s never enough!

Post # 30
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Cash000

Thank you for telling me that.  I think it was just the situation I was in- being forced to stay home as a teenager and raise my mother’s child- that made me feel that way.  I am happy to hear your positive words and encouragement. 

Post # 31
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i still dont really like kids….except for my own. lol

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