(Closed) Is it really that big a deal?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s personal preference on your part, not really an issue of etiquette.  But as a guest, I’d rather not see the bride ahead of time.  At the wedding I was at earlier this month the bride was just wandering around before the ceremony so we couldn’t help but see her before the ceremony, which was disapointing.  In my mind, isn’t that the whole point of the processional? 

Post # 18
1692 posts
Bumble bee

It is definately NOT a breach of etiquette for the guests to see the bride prior to the ceremony: just an old superstition about bad luck. Greeting your guests as they arrive IS a matter of etiquette — it is very good form.

The way brides of the past got away with hiding before the ceremony was, they either got married in Church where supposedly God is the host and greets the guests,  or they got married at home and their mother was hostess and greeted the guests. When modern brides act as their own hostess, they have to choose between being a very good hostesses as you plan to be, or following traditions that are incompatible with the role of hostess. Guests are usually willing to cut the bride a lot of slack if she chooses the latter. But it is far more gracious to do as you are doing, and greet your guests properly. Don’t allow a reality TV show to override what are obviously good hospitable instincts!

Post # 19
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I hid, because I didn’t see Darling Husband before walking down the aisle.

He got to mingle and greet guests as they arrived and said it was one of his favorite parts of the wedding!

If you’ve figured out the logistics of when you see your Fiance and the anticipation by your guests of your entrance doesn’t appeal to you – I say, go for it!  You’re ‘reveal’ will be when you greet guests…. 

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