(Closed) Is it rude for ppl 2 leave b4 B&G’s grand exit? H

posted 12 years ago in Reception
Post # 18
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

can you just skip the "grand exit"?  I haven’t ever seen one myself, but maybe that ia regional thing….as a guest, when the music stops, I would think the wedding is over and just leave – how will people know they should stick around to watch your exit?

Post # 19
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Plenty of people left before my "grand exit"—that was the part where the DJ said "last song" and we got into the limo and they threw rose petals on us. I was not in the least offended. Everyone did stay until the cake cutting though (which was after dinner). I wouldn’t worry about this and just stay as long as you want.

Post # 20
21 posts

I would even think to wait until the grand exit, unless you make it clear to people that they are expected for a grand exit, people will leave when they choose.  I would be put out if the bride and groom expected me to stay until they felt like leaving.

I think you should do your grand exit when you choose to, and guest will leave when they choose to.

Post # 21
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I’ve never even seen a grand exit.  I am not sure most guest would be aware of one unless explicity explained to them.  I say let people leave when they are ready to, but in general I think your reception is about the right length of time.

Post # 23
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

It’s not rude to leave before the grand exit, but you could always put something on the ceremony cards asking guests to stay for the grand exit. Of course worded a lot cooler and elegantly then please stay till the end. Some older people don’t want to party till 11 no matter where they are. Majority will stay till the end but not all of them will. There is nothing wrong with your reception time or timeline. 

Post # 24
1530 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s rude for people to leave after the "grand exit". Actually, I’ve never been to a wedding that had one of those.  We’re planning on staying until the end of the reception and hanging with our friends.  I figure we paid for and planned the party, we should be able to stick around and enjoy it til the end!!  We did want to do our dance and the cake cutting earlier in the night, in case any of the older guests wanted to leave. 

Post # 25
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well sadly as a "transient wedding guest" that I’ve been (usually only on an on-call weekend when I’d get called in to the hospital for an emergency), the people know WHY I’d ever leave first of all early.  Once I had to leave (was a very long wedding and reception)two times!

I think that we know our guests..most will wish to stay and want to.  But if they have any of these issues, I’d let them easily off the hook:  fussy child, or baby with babysitter (so no screaming at YOUR wedding), emergency with work (like me), or unforseen emergency (sick relative or something) that it’s fine.  Now eating and bolting just because you could care less?  Well I don’t plan on even inviting anybody who’d eat and bolt at our wedding because they would WANT to be there and involved in the first place.

Imho, in the past when I’ve seen the "eat and runs", they were so-so friends or merely acquaintences of the BnG or not so close relatives.    

Post # 26
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Our reception goes til 1am so I most certainly won’t be upset if people leave before we do- we’re staying til the very end!! I guess I’d be upset if friends left early for no reason, but if they have a reason, I understand. It’s easy to forget that other people have lives when its "our big day" but really- they do. 

I actually have a wedding in a few weeks and I’m leaving it early. I would never do thatnormally but it is a special circumstance for me. It’s my college reunion and all my friends are in town for one night, some I haven’t seen in years, another was recently in a horrible ATV accident and was left paralyzed and is even going to be there. I was superbly bummed when I realized the wedding was the same day, so my fiance suggested I just sneak out around 10:30 or 11 and not worry about it. I’ll say something to the bride to explain but really, I will be there most of the night anyway, I don’t think they will miss me that much. My Fiance will be staying. Do people think that’s really rude??  

Post # 27
26 posts

We didn’t have a grand exit but everyone came to talk to us before they left.  My in-laws left before a lot of other guests did, which I thought was strange.

Post # 28
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s definitely not the final exit but the cake cutting.  Think about it–the exit is essentially signaling that the party is over–last song, bird seed, etc.  And then you’re supposed to hide or not continue the party with the rest of your guests?  That just seems silly!

Now, maybe you could move it back to 10:30–that would give you 15 minutes to gather people together for the send off, and 15 minutes for people to gather their things, say goodbye, etc. 

Post # 29
1652 posts
Bumble bee

I agree, not only in not having seen a grand exit before (is that just in the wedding shows?) but also in not being offended if guests left early.  Really there are bundles of reasons why people might leave early.   And it might not be something they can tell you ahead oftime in the receiving line.  What if they get a little tipsy?  What if the music gives them a headache?  What if their shoes really start killing their feet?  Or they’re exhausted?

I’ve been to weddings in which many guests left early.  While it might be disappointing to a bride and groom, I’ve noticed reasons.  Either the guests were mostly older and tuckered out early, or (well) the music was not likeable.  It’s hard to stick around too long if you don’t like the music at all, and it’s so loud you can’t talk to the person next to you. 

But ultimately, I think you can’t really hold guests hostage until a bride and groom decide to leave.  But ejs, I think you should stay until you want to leave.  It sounds like you are stuck between wanting to enjoy every minute of your reception and wanting to do an exit.  It might be a choice between the two.  (I stayed to the end of of my recpetion, without a grand exit, and have no regets.)

Post # 31
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am going to have to also say that maybe this is like a different part of the country/world thing?  I have never ever been to a wedding where the bride and groom had a grand exit. Granted I have mostly only been to ones on the east coast and a couple in Europe, but I have never seen it. Personally, I plan on leaving last because I want the party to last as long as possible and not miss a minute of my wedding! Its going to go by fast enough without cutting off a half hour of it!

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