(Closed) Is it rude not to invite Fiancé’s cousin?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

If they didn’t invite you I wouldn’t invite them… that is just me though!

Post # 4
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would stick with across-the-board rules.  Invite all of the cousins or none of the cousins.  

Post # 5
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Invite someone because you want them there and can’t imagine the day without them or don’t invite them at all. The idea of “we’re not going to invite them because they didn’t invite us” is petty. At the same time, there is no rule that says you must invite all cousins or uncles or whatever if you aren’t comfortable with them and don’t have a relationship with them. The only time that applies is if you are inviting children which are all or none or spouses/significant others.

Post # 7
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Courtesy invites are one of the main reasons that weddings become so expensive. Don’t invite anyone you don’t have a relationship with. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into inviting people you don’t want in attendance either.

Post # 8
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well are your and your fiance’s parents hosting (paying for) your wedding or are you?  If the fiance’s parents are kicking in and they got an invite to the cousins’ wedding, they may want to extend an invite to the cousins.  But since you didn’t get an invitation, if you are paying for your wedding then I don’t think it’s necessary.

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

As it’s your FI’s family I would ask him whether or not he would like to invite them. If he wants to invite them out of courtesy then let him. My Darling Husband is not super close to any of his cousins but we invited them all and they were very happy to have gotten an invite and be part of our day. Whilst I think you shouldn’t not invite them just cause they didn’t invite you also conversely you have to think, would you have invited them if they had invited you or would this have just been a non-question?

Post # 11
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@bride2be0511:It definitely makes weddings expensive (courtesy invites) but they are going to be family – however distant. And as it’s his family I think he should have the last word. But that’s just what I’d do 🙂

Post # 13
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I  would take the high road and invite them.  You’ll look like the better person and they’ll probably end up feeling like schmucks!

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