MemberGood morning everyone,
My fiance’s cousin is getting married the weekend AFTER we get married and my finace’s parents got their engagement party along with their STD invite, but we didn’t get one.
So my question is: Since they didn’t invite us, is it rude not to invite them to our wedding? (my fiance isn’t really close to them, by the way)
Please help trying to make guest list. Thanks.
MemberIf they didn’t invite you I wouldn’t invite them… that is just me though!
MemberI would stick with across-the-board rules. Invite all of the cousins or none of the cousins.
MemberInvite someone because you want them there and can’t imagine the day without them or don’t invite them at all. The idea of “we’re not going to invite them because they didn’t invite us” is petty. At the same time, there is no rule that says you must invite all cousins or uncles or whatever if you aren’t comfortable with them and don’t have a relationship with them. The only time that applies is if you are inviting children which are all or none or spouses/significant others.
MemberI don’t think I’m being petty, I just figured if they didn’t care to invite us, I take it that they could care less of having any kind of relationship with us. And therefore why bother sending them an invite. I just don’t want them to receive my invite and then feel obligated to come or possibly feel bad cause they didn’t invite us to theirs. But then I don’t want them or her parents to be offended why she and her fiance weren’t invited.
So that’s why I posted the question, if it would be rude not to invite them.
MemberCourtesy invites are one of the main reasons that weddings become so expensive. Don’t invite anyone you don’t have a relationship with. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into inviting people you don’t want in attendance either.
MemberWell are your and your fiance’s parents hosting (paying for) your wedding or are you? If the fiance’s parents are kicking in and they got an invite to the cousins’ wedding, they may want to extend an invite to the cousins. But since you didn’t get an invitation, if you are paying for your wedding then I don’t think it’s necessary.
MemberAs it’s your FI’s family I would ask him whether or not he would like to invite them. If he wants to invite them out of courtesy then let him. My DH is not super close to any of his cousins but we invited them all and they were very happy to have gotten an invite and be part of our day. Whilst I think you shouldn’t not invite them just cause they didn’t invite you also conversely you have to think, would you have invited them if they had invited you or would this have just been a non-question?
MemberMemberMemberMemberI would take the high road and invite them. You’ll look like the better person and they’ll probably end up feeling like schmucks!
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