(Closed) Is it rude not to register?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Is it rude not to register
    Yes : (5 votes)
    15 %
    No : (25 votes)
    74 %
    Other : (4 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    It’s not rude to not register but I wouldn’t expect all checks or cash. People who want to give a gift will whether you register or not so you don’t have to register but when you start getting engraved frames and ugly platters, don’t be angry. What about a honeymoon registry?

    Post # 4
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree, many people will probably ask what you want or need or what your style is.  Those that don’t ask will just guess! 

    It is not rude at all to NOT register but you should just be prepared to have some unexpected/unwanted gifts. 

    Post # 6
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We didn’t register for the exact same reasons.

    Got 90% checks and cash. Also got an ugly candle holder, some impractical and not-our-style service pieces, and an electronic fondue pot.

    Good thing stores have liberal return policies!

    Plus, 90% cash and checks is much better than 100% stuff we don’t want or need.

    -Sidenote: I didn’t have a shower. I think this makes a difference. It is difficult to invite someone to a function where one of the main events is opening presents if you don’t give them some direction on what to buy.

    Post # 7
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Oh wedding gifts will usually be cash/checks in my world. People register around me for engagement parties and showers but only give money for wedding gifts. I don’t know what the norm is for Kansas City.

    Post # 8
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    while i don’t think it’s rude, your older guests might. but i definitely wouldn’t expect all gift cards or cash…you’ll probably end up with a few toasters and random things you can’t return because you don’t know where they came from.

    since you just bought a house, set up a registry at home depot or lowe’s. is there anything you want to upgrade? i know you want to keep things simple, but i’m a registry advocate 🙂 i just wouldn’t want to end up with a bunch of crap i don’t want but can’t return.

    Post # 10
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @morgobride: It’s not really rude, but you’ll get a lot of gifts that you may not want.  Also, it’s a little less convenient for your guests (they have to actually shop rather than looking at a list) and for you (people will bring the gift rather than going to your registery and having it mailed, also you’ll have to return to many different stores rather than just a couple).

    Post # 11
    322 posts
    Helper bee

    @morgobride: I am by no means an expert but I believe with the honeymoon registry, you basically  just get the cash. So people would feel like they are getting you something specific (i.e. a massage or candlelit dinner on the beach) but you’re really just getting money. This could be helpful in avoiding people who don’t want to just give money so they buy a gift you don’t really want…

    Also, maybe consider registering for things that are not the basic necessities. Do you need new color coordinated bathroom stuff? A new bed set? Want a margarita maker but don’t want to spend the money on it? 🙂 A registry with some fun stuff is always a possibility. Heck, I think you can even just do it online.

    Post # 12
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We registered for 1 gift – a set of luggage.  That was taken care of by my Maid/Matron of Honor, sister, and close family friend (they went in together).  Other than that my Maid/Matron of Honor and our family friend spread the word that we don’t really need anything.  Cash would be appreciated.  We have had no one get upset by this.  We had a couple of actual gifts but these were from people who know us very well and the gifts were great!  I do not believe asking for cash is bad at all.  I think it is all in the way it is relayed to your guests. Wink


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