Post # 1
One of my guy friends LOVES to be involved with planning things and then I had a perhaps brilliant idea that since I won’t be hiring a wedding coordinator, I could ask him to be there to make sure everything runs smoothly.
Now I’ve given this some thought. Yes, he is a guest at our wedding. And I don’t want to make him feel like he’s working because I want him to enjoy himself too. Basically I would just like him to make sure that my Fiance and I don’t see eachother before the ceremony while we’re taking photos at the property (so kind of like the go-to person between myself and my Fiance,) and make sure the iPod is turned on during our brunch, and make sure everything goes smooth. I’m not asking him to even pay vendors or anything like that.
So I’d like opinions…does this sound like it would be rude of me to ask him? Would you be offended if you were asked to do this for a friend’s wedding? I would of course consider him a part of the wedding party and include a gift for him at the rehersal dinner. And I’ve been asked to do something similar and I wasn’t offended, but I’m not easily offended!!
Post # 3
I don’t think it would be rude if he has expressed interest in helping. Just make sure to tell him if he isn’t interested it is no problem. He’d probably be happy to help you – I wouldn’t use the word coordinator though. It sounds like what you want him to do is pretty minimal so I’d just specifically ask if he would like to do those things.
Post # 4
I would think that it would largely depend on the type of person he is, as well as y’all’s friendship. I personally love planning events, and wedding planning is awesome. So if a good friend asked me to be there and help and all, I’d be thrilled!
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s rude to ask; just rude to expect. And give him an “out” as well so he can decline–it’s hard to say no to a bride without an out!
Post # 6
I agree with Marzipan – as long as you let him know that you don’t mind if he declines, I say go for it.
I personally would not feel weird being asked to do this for a friend. I would feel honored to help as Southerntulip said. I would just lay it out they way you said it above – no pressure.
Post # 7
I think people get offended when they probably should have been a bridesmaid (or at least thought they should have been one!) and instead they get the grunt work. I think if you tell him how wonderful you think he would be with the job and that there is no one else you would trust more AND you express that you are worried it will interfere with his enjoyment of the party you not only flatter him but give him an out if he isnt comfortable performing the duties. I think it is great that you plan to include him in the rehearsal dinner and express your appreciation with a gift. I say go for it!
Post # 8
I had a friend be the coordinator for my wedding, I asked and she accepted. I agree with PP’s that so long as you give them an out then it’s fine.
Post # 9
Excellent. I’m definitely telling him why I thought of him to help us, and that he is a guest first and foremost and is not inclined in any way to do it!! I’m writing it in a letter and mailing it to him!
Thanks for the advice ladies 🙂