Post # 1
This weekend I will be meeting up with the little girls who will be the flower girls in our wedding and asking them to participate. Their mom was over the moon excited to let her girls be involved in our special day. The thing is, she has three girls, not a problem for me… the more flower girls the merrier! but since all three are her girls, I’m afraid to make dress shopping expensive for them.
Is it rude to just upfront ask what mom is willing to spend total for her girls dresses? There is this one dress that I absolutely love, becuase it is the perfect shade of yellow. I’m afraid though that the $50 per dress will be too much for mom to afford.
Do I just come out and say “A, what is your budget per dress?”
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
It is not rude; rather, it’s sort of required. What would be rude would be to choose something and force it on her without considering her budget, so you will be doing the right thing to ask her about the budget.
Post # 4
I’m no expert at these things, and have a tendency to blurt out awkward things, but I would just say something like “Hey I found this dress I liked for the girls, it’s $50, do you think that will work or should I keep looking?”
Post # 5
I agree that you should ask. If it’s too much, maybe offer to pay for half of what it would cost her?
@Natalieh86: That’s a good response.
Post # 6
I think it’s good of you to establish budgets in the beginning so there are no surprises or uncomfortable feelings.
Post # 7
If you expect her to pay, then yes, I would just ask her for her budget. Otherwise, your other option is to give her a few choices and let her know the prices up-front (such as “Here are the three choices. A is $30. B is $50. C is $75. Which one do you like?”) and let her pick.
We had two Flower Girl and they are sisters. We didn’t want to burden the parents as we had a very specific image of what we wanted them to wear so we bought everything ourselves, down to the shoes and accessories. They also had plain white Flower Girl dresses from another event that were hand-me-downs and they offered to wear those, and I definitely didn’t want those.
Post # 8
Thanks so much ladies! I’ve considered paying for half if I can’t find anything else and the $50 is too much for her. I just didn’t know how to start the conversation I guess.
Thanks for the options! 🙂
Post # 9
Personally I would be upset if you didn’t ask about a budget first, so ask away. I wouldn’t even bring up the dresses you found until after you ask about a budget. If it were me, who is a bit of a push-over and a people pleaser, and I knew you had found a dress you liked already, I would buy the dresses you already picked, even if it wasn’t in my budget. Once you know her budget, and it’s less then $50 then decide if you want to help pay for them or keep looking. O and starting the convo “Hey I started looking at dresses for the little ones, I am so excited I get to share my day with them all. Is there a certain price point you feel comfortable at, just so I know before I get to deep in pretty little dresses.”
Post # 10
No it’s considerate. Just start the convo by saying hey I’ve been seeing some cute dresses out there and keeping my eye out but I was wondering of you had thought about what you would be comfortable spending for the girls? I don’t want to pick something that you would be uncomfortable cost wise. If she says she doesn’t know or doesn’t have one, maybe throw out that you saw some matching dresses for 50 but you weren’t sure if three of them was affordable.
Post # 11
When my daughters were flower girls (two different weddings) the bride (their aunt) or their grandmother (the bride’s mother) bought or made the dresses. I never had the chance to offer to pay for their dresses.
Does the mother of the flower girls usually pay for dresses?
Post # 12
No in fact I think it’s very considerate and perfect way to start off by asking he what her budget is.
Post # 13
I would ask her how much she is willing to spend (or comfortable spending) before letting her know that you found a $50 dress. That way she doesn’t feel pressure to say she’ll spend that amount or guilt if she can’t.
Post # 14
It definitely is not rude! It is up to us as brides to get the budgets from all members of the wedding party, and sticking to those budgets or offering to pay the difference.