(Closed) Is it rude to ask for no tip jar?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

There were no tip jars at our wedding, and i’ve actually never seen a tip jar at a wedding. Maybe it’s regional? Our gratuity is included in our bill. Unless you’re having a cash bar, i’m not sure why people would need to tip?

Post # 4
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’ve never seen a tip jar at a wedding, I don’t think a lot of venues would allow this.  Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a bartender ever use a tip jar, that would be like waitresses putting out tip jars on all of their tables; it’s not necessary because it’s customary to tip anyway.  

I don’t think this is something you need to be worried about.

Post # 5
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

our Dj had a tip jar.  WTF? It was severly irritating cause I had no idea and then when I went over there he had it out.  I would just politely ask your venue about it first and then if they say they usually put a jar out request they don’t.

Post # 6
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I think as the hostess of the event, you have a right to dictate how the bartenders will be paid. I requested no tip jars at both weddings and we took care of the bartenders seperately afterwards(unsealed envelopes in case they were terrible!). You just have to make sure you give the tips out to each one individually.

 Ours included a 20% gratuity too.

Post # 7
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When researching venues, I actually read on one’s website that there will be a fee for requesting them to not have tip jars.  I thought this was ridiculous since the 20% gratuity is already tacked on.  We didn’t go with this place.  I don’t think it’s rude to ask but read your contract to see if there’s any language already about it.

Post # 8
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@missfireslayer: for reals?  The DJ?  That’s crazy.

Post # 9
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ive never seen one and none of our vendors used one.

Post # 10
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MUI831: That’s crazy! Like a PP said, unless it’s a cash bar there is no reason to have a tip jar.

Post # 11
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Sking: I use to be a banquet server and that 20% gratuity is barely seen once it’s split up among all the staff. I can kinda see if from both sides. People who don’t work in the service industry think that each worker is going to be getting 20% tip at the end of the night and the servers who are working your event are getting paid min. wage plus whatever little tip they get at the end of the night.

Ugh, I worked at one place where the banquet manager always kept the tip and ended up getting fired after a server seen the brides dad tip him and he pocketed it and didn’t split it at the end of the night.

We are hiring bartenders and we are going to allow them to have a tip jar. We are providing our own alcohol and if someone wants to throw them a few dollars at the end of the event then so be it.

Post # 13
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@lezlers: My bossy aunt took care of it 🙂 Yeah I mean bartender I wouldn’t be terribly irritated with but for some reason it totally bent me out of shape with the DJ. He was a weirdo anyways.

Post # 14
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have been to some weddings that have tip jars and others that don’t (all open bars).  To be honest I have never thought about it and in the begining of the weddings I usually leave a few dollars for the bartender in the jar or if there isn’t one I put it on the bar for them.  But now as I am planning my own wedding and have an added 20% gratuity I see it differently.  If someone wants to leave a tip on the bar that is fine but their shouldn’t be tip jars out asking for it.

Post # 15
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would ask and be sure that the bartenders DO receive that tip on top of their regular pay. Sometimes they don’t. If they don’t, slip them some money and ask them if they’d take it down. Honestly, most people will tip anyways, and if they have nowhere to put the money, it gets annoying becasue it just sits on the counter. I ALWAYS tip personally!

Post # 16
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

the bartenders probably won’t see very much of that 20% gratuity. i would personally give them some cash at the end of the night, that way you’re sure they’re getting what they deserve and there’s no need for a tip jar.

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