Post # 1
Sorry if this is on the wrong board!
Well one of my cousins is getting married about 3 months before me. We’re not super close or anything and we’ve NEVER talked about wedding stuff when we do interact.
I know the dress is supposed to be a surprise for everyone and it’s really personal etc etc but I keep on imagining (and panicking) that we’ll both buy the same dress!!!
Do you think it’ll be rude to ask her which dress she’s buying? And any tips on how to ask her without coming across as rude or nosey?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t consider it a rude questions necessarily, just would politely decline to answer if I didn’t want to share. You could ask her what style she is looking for/has gotten, or what store/designer, and continue to ask more questions if it sounds like yours. Chances are SO slim it’s the same dress but if you are worried about it there are sensitive ways to go about it!
Post # 4
This would be cool bounding topic, share some details of your wedding tell her you were curious and wouldn’t want to overlapp on anything!
Post # 5
All in how you ask: if you ask to see the dress or want too many specifics about it, then, yes, it might be intrusive. But if you ask her to tell you whatever she’s comfortable telling about the dress because you want to make sure you don’t get the same dress or too similar, then I think she might be flattered that you don’t want to steal her thunder.
Post # 6
You could ask her things like: What color dress did she go with, what style did she end up getting, etc. I would not ask her to telly ou the exact dress.
Post # 7
Thanks guys. I’m worried cause we actually have several items of clothing in common, and we have the same style and tastes.
Actually when another cousin we have in common was getting married we went to the dress shop together and while we were waiting for her to get dressed we had a flick through one of the Pronovias catalogue and we ended up liking the same stuff.
I haven’t spoken to her for nearly half a year now and it’ll feel kind of forced talking to her out the blue. Maybe I’ll message her.
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s rude to inquire about what kind of style she’s looking at (as long as it’s not in a threatening way). I was in a similar situation…my cousin got married 5 months after I did. We’re not really close…but I still asked about what kind of dresses she was looking at. I honestly wouldn’t have cared if we ended up in the exact same dress…it’s just fun to share wedding planning 🙂
Edit – and by “threatening,” I mean “you better not pick the same dress as me!” kind of way…
Post # 9
Honestly, if the two of you have similar tastes and actually picked the same dress from a catalogue then I don’t think she would be offended if you were just honest with her. Tell her that you’ve been thinking about dresses and remember how similar your tastes are. Offer her the style that you’ve chosen and ask if the two of you have similar dresses.
Chances are, she may have thought about it herself!
Post # 10
Honestly, I’d just be upfront with her and say, “Hey, I bet neither one of us wants us to end up in the same dress. Want to share a couple of details about our top choices, just enough to make sure we each get a dress that’s unique?” That shouldn’t upset her.
Post # 11
I’m sure she’d appreciate not having the same dress! Since you’re wanting to know what she’s picking so you don’t pick the same instead of saying “I picked this, so you’d better not” I don’t think it’s threatening at all. I think, like the pp’s have been saying, acknowledge her similar good taste and ask her if she’d be willing to let you know which one she’s going with so you don’t pick the same (a secret between you girls).
Post # 12
I think that’s a polite enough question. If you’re worried she won’t want to show you her dress, you could always wait until you’ve picked one out and then send a picture to her to make sure that you’re not going to have the same dress.
Post # 13
I bought my dress 14 months before our wedding. There was a friend wedding and a cousin wedding inbetween. I was soooooooo stressed that one of them would have my dress. Both of them were really open to sharing which dress they picked to ease my fears.
Post # 14
Have you purchased your dress yet? If so, why don’t you show her yours (or the one you are considering) and she can confirm that it isn’t hers? That way she isn’t exactly blowing the surprise of her dress but you can have some peace of mind?
Post # 15
Phew she answered and it was no big drama, she actually thought it was funny that I was being so apologetic!
She’s actually going a completely different route to me dress wise – which is actually a surprise but a relief! I haven’t got a dress yet but there are options that I like…I’m glad that I still have these options.
Now I’ve just got to go and try them on and DECIDE!