(Closed) Is it rude to ask that no kids be at the wedding…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to ask that no kids be at the wedding?
    rude : (26 votes)
    10 %
    completely reasonable : (235 votes)
    90 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    5427 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Mrs_Harmer_to_be:  make sure you mention this incident! And that’s the reason you don’t want kids there at the ceremony itself. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    bestbuddies  Because my SO can control himself for a few hours and not throw rocks in the pool or ride the elevator up and down or run around the 2nd floor balcony or toss a football against the side of the building like 5 teenagers did at our wedding. The three 3 year olds in our wedding party were perfectly fine but 5 14-16 year olds couldn’t behave for 7 hours.

    It’s your wedding, if you’d rather not have kids then make sure it’s clear on your invites. If parents are traveling out of town help with babysitting or if theres room maybe provide on site childcare.

    Post # 19
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Hey There,

    I really wanted NO kids at our wedding….and to be honest our family supported the idea.  However, since I am the oldest in our family and last to get married there are alot of kids.  Since it was more important to have everyone at our destination wedding we decided to have a seperate kids room for the reception.  We hired a local caregiving service to come in and watch all the kids.  We had 3 caregivers for 9 kids (which is more than daycare standards) with games and a private kid friendly buffet.  They were then welcome to come once the dance started.

    The parents LOVED being kid free for a few hours and the kids had so much fun playing with each other.  They pretty much entertained themselves.  It was the best $260 spent!

    Kid room fun: (poor Hannah was interupted reading her book….huh?)

    Post # 20
    Member
    1975 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    def reasonable!!! i wont be having kids at my wedding, i personnaly dont think weddings are the place for kids

    Post # 21
    Member
    2305 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    @Barika:  I love this idea! I think we’re gonna take it lol. We’re having our wedding in the city we live in, which is not the city, state or even country (for my side) that any of our family lives in. So asking people not to bring their kids is a little unreasonable. Even though I really really don’t want kids there, I know it’s asking too much. Did you do this just during the reception? Is it rude to do during the cermony, you think?

     

    Also, OP, it’s your wedding, and if you don’t want kids there, then don’t have kids. I think it’s perfectly ok to ask for people not to bring their kids. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Barika Love, love, love this idea!!!! If I could have forseen the issues we had I would have hired a game truck to park in the venues parking lot to keep them tamed!!!

    Post # 23
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @cirk:  

    Ya we were in the same boat.  I did just do it for the reception as we had an early ceremony (noon) and it was outside on the patio overlooking the mountains.  In my case the kids in the picture are our neices and nephews and close cousins.  The youngest boy was my nephew so I found it hard to say yes to some and not others.  Since the ceremony was outside and all the people had to do was walk outside from their rooms I wasn’t too concerned.  People could always go inside if need be.  And to be honest I was so nervous I didn’t even hear the mini meltdown my 1.5 year old nephew had.  I didn’t even hear it.

    I don’t think it is rude to not have them at the ceremony but I am a all or nothing type of person.  If you can say no to all…then go for it.  All the parents will enjoy the break.

     

     

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Ill Be Mrs B:  

    HAHAHAHA….I know I shouldn’t laugh but that is hilarious!

    Post # 25
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Barika It’s ok to laugh about it, I can too…now!!! I couldn’t then or anytime soon after, I was pissed. A few months before the wedding my husband spoke to the parents of said teens and told them “Your are more than welcome to bring your kids to the wedding but there is really nothing for them to do”. It’s not like the parents wern’t aware that their kids might be bored and honestly what parent thinks it’s ok to bring a FOOTBALL to a wedding? Sheesh!!!!!

    Post # 26
    Member
    3306 posts
    Sugar bee

    Not rude at all but I would consider having kids of immediate family members there just because they are family…. unless you have like 5 brothers and 7 sisters, all with kids….

    Post # 27
    Member
    7042 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Definitely not rude. There ares just some places and events that kids are not invited to. Deciding to become a parent means that sometimes you’ll have to decline an invitation if it’s an event or situation that isn’t appropriate for kids. If you (general you) have a problem leaving your kids at home, then stay home with them. 

    I’m the last one out of my group to have kids, everyone else already does. That being said, I’m really blessed with awesome friends who see no issue (and feel it’s necessary!!) to have adult time. They do not hesitate to get a sitter if need be to have adult nights for dinner, movies, weddings, trips, etc. They all have perfectly normal, well adjusted kids, who are not in any way scarred that they were left for a few hours with a babysitter. 

    It just cracks me up that a parent wouldn’t hesitate to decline a 10pm invite to hang out in a bar and listen to a band it’s not appropriate for a kid, yet they’ll throw a fit over not being able to bring their kid to essentially the same event but called a wedding.

    Post # 28
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It’s not rude or unreasonable. Be polite in how you convey this information.

    Post # 29
    Member
    11268 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @bestbuddies:  that is not the same thing.

     

    coming from a parent’s perspective, it is totally reasonable.  i have been to numerous weddings and my son has only been invited to a few of them with me. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    7310 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    It depends. If the child is an immediate family member (your own kid, younger sibling, neice/nephew), I think he/she should be invited along with the rest of the immediate family. But beyond that, I don’t think that younger cousins, children of friends, etc. fall into the “must include” category.

    Post # 31
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t think it’s rude to have an adult-only wedding.  You just have to be prepared for people to decline because they can’t or won’t leave their kids at home.  You also can’t hold it against them if they do decline.

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